To a stripper, Boyer's hipper

Morganna, the large stripper whose hobby of running out on baseball fields to kiss players has not hurt her career a bit ("She's the highest-paid stripper in the country," says her agent. "She's booked a year ahead"), has rated some of the victims she has lipped.

She says of Wes Parker: "He doesn't kiss good, but he runs fast."

Billy Cowan: "I thought Cowan had sexy lips until I read in the paper that I kissed his ear. Now I'm really confused."

Frank Howard: "The poor thing. He almost fainted. I don't even want to mention him."

Pete Rose: "He cussed a lot."

Clete Boyer: "He kisses good. I told him I loved him. He said, 'I love you, too.' A week later he came into the club where I was dancing and jumped up on the stage and kissed me. He said, 'Now we're even.' "