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Original Issue

Sports Beat

The tennis career of Anna Kournikova, which has never been as
aesthetically pleasing as certain other aspects of the
22-year-old Russian player, could soon be put out of its misery.
Kournikova told London's Evening Standard she may retire early
next year to pursue a career as an actress. "I'd love to appear
in something like Sex and the City or Friends," the winless
wonder told the paper, apparently unconcerned that each show is
in its final season. "I get offered lots of those sorts of jobs,
but I've never had time to pursue them because of my tennis." So
far she has faced down the camera with mixed results: She pouted
adequately as the spurned girlfriend in the video for her
boyfriend Enrique Iglesias's Escape, and she recently hosted the
World Music Awards in Monaco, but in her stint as a roving
reporter for the USA Network at the U.S. Open, which ended early,
she looked extremely awkward. Still, Kournikova, who has played
in only six matches this year, will probably not miss the court,
where she has been plagued by back problems. "The doctors say
it's chronic because it keeps coming back," she explained.

--Playwright Chuck Evered, a lifelong Red Sox fan whose current
play, Wilderness of Mirrors, has received favorable reviews, just
finished Ted's Head, a two-man play about a mismatched pair of
brothers who scheme to abscond with Ted Williams's frozen head
and bury it in Fenway Park. "As these stories about his body came
out, I just got more and more upset, and so I wanted to write a
story to vent that frustration," Evered says. "The tone of the
play, even though it's about Ted's head, is extremely respectful.
It takes the point of view of any Bosox fan, which is that we've
got to do something about this." Evered's reps at the William
Morris Agency are shopping the project with an eye toward getting
Ben Affleck and Matt Damon to star.

--Bostonians may have experienced depression and anger last week,
but they also had ... haiku. Hours after the Yankees won Game 7
of the ALCS a website dedicated to expressing the agony of being
a Red Sox fan in the traditional Japanese 17-syllable verse form
had sprung up on the Internet. Among the more poignant
submissions on is:

Going, going, gone
In the eleventh inning
Winter has begun

And our favorite, which, amazingly, doesn't single out Grady

Stick a fork in it
Pedro? Trot? Doesn't matter
Who. The Sox are done.

--The Songbird who sang Snowbird did better than a birdie last
week. Country crooner Anne Murray, 58, aced the 108-yard 17th
hole at Kaluhyat Golf Club at the Turning Stone Resort in Verona,
N.Y., with a nine-iron, becoming the first woman amateur to score
a hole in one on the hole. "It was a thrill," said Murray, who
plays up to four times a week and is a 15 handicap. "I still
can't believe it." ... Mike Tyson is shopping a tell-all memoir,
but he's having trouble even getting some New York publishers to
meet with him.


COLOR PHOTO: JEFF SWENSEN/GETTY IMAGES PICTURE THIS Folks going over the New River Gorge Bridge near Fayetteville, W.Va., can now tell people George Washington leapt here. Parachutist Paul Kokne took a header off the span--at 876 feet above the river, it's the second highest bridge in the U.S.--while dressed as the Father of Our Country (trust us) on Oct. 18 to celebrate national Bridge Day, a holiday that can take a toll on you.



The day after Game 6 of the NLCS, Hollywood was already
developing a movie about a fan who interferes with play in a
critical game.


Buccaneers safety, speaking to The Tampa Tribune about whether
his teammates could make Mr. Blackwell's best-dressed list: "A
lot of us aren't going to make anybody's anything, besides who
can eat the most or who can smell the worst."