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Original Issue


What pearls of wisdom Pacman Jones may have to offer

One of the speakers at this month's NFL rookie symposium will be Bengals CB Adam (Pacman) Jones—yep, the same Pacman Jones who was suspended by the league for the 2007 season after six arrests in two years (charges in three cases were dismissed), and who last week was ordered by a Las Vegas judge to pay $11.65 million in compensatory damages for his role in a 2007 nightclub shooting. Herewith a few tips Jones might give the youngsters.

DO loan your Cadillac to a friend.

DON'T let the Cadillac get seized in a cocaine bust, as Jones's was in 2006. (He was not charged.)

DO repurchase the Cadillac in a police auction.

DO "make it rain," showering the stage with dollar bills, at a strip club.

DON'T fly into a rage if dancers pick up the money; Jones's angry response sparked a scuffle that led to the '07 shooting.

DO look for other work while serving your NFL suspension; Jones signed with Total Nonstop Action Wrestling, which promised the Titans (who held Jones's NFL rights) that he would have a "nonphysical" role.

DON'T then get into a ring with a wrestler named Ron Killings and win the TNA World Tag Team title.