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Original Issue

The Antisocial Network

A theoretical peek at the recent history of sports connections

Mike Pettine

BIG DOG

CLEVELAND

Endorsed Johnny Manziel for Penmanship

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Derek Jeter

SECURITY BLANKET

NEW YORK CITY

Joined a group AARP

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Jameis Winston

LOOSE CANNON

TALLAHASSEE

Added a skill Public Speaking

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Robert Kraft

KINGMAKER

FOXBOROUGH

Has a new connection Condoleezza Rice

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Roger Goodell

CASHIER

NEW YORK CITY

Is reading How to Make Friends and Influence People

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SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Former Suns guard Rex Chapman, who made $22 million during his NBA career, was arrested for allegedly shoplifting $14,000 worth of merchandise from an Apple store in Arizona.

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RON SCHWANE/USA TODAY SPORTS (PETTINE)

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NEILSON BARNARD/GETTY IMAGES/BLOOMINGDALE'S (JETER)

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JAYNE KAMIN/ONCEA/USA TODAY SPORTS (WINSTON)

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MICHAEL O'NEILL FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (KRAFT)

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PATRIC SCHNEIDER/AP (GOODELL)

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SCOTTSDALE POLICE DEPARTMENT/REUTERS (CHAPMAN)