The Question: Who Are The Bigger Liars, Golfers Or Fishermen?
The Answers:
SYNGMAN RHEE SEOUL,
SOUTH KOREA PRESIDENT
"I don't know golfers. But fishermen don't lie. They just tell beautiful stories. I went fishing with General Anderson. The poor man didn't catch a fish. I caught 50. Yes, 50. No, this isn't a beautiful story. But the fish were beautiful to see."
MRS. CORRINE CRANFORD ROCKVILLE,
MD. HOME
"Fishermen. My husband, Colonel Cranford of the Air Force, tells a corker. Fishing for tuna, he was strapped to his rod, but not to his chair. A giant tuna struck his line and yanked him overboard. He clung on until picked up. And he reeled the tuna in. So he said."
JOE GALE
GARDINERS ISLAND, N.Y. CAPT. '53 U.S. TUNA TEAM
"I gave up golf 20 years ago. The lies of the other golfers stumped me. They would kick a ball out of the rough, forget strokes and play someone else's ball. So I went back to nature. Fish can't throw curves at you. In last year's competition, my team didn't sight a tuna."
MRS. LOU MARRON
NEW YORK CITY CHAMPION FISHERWOMAN
"Fishermen lie? Never. They know fact is stranger than fiction. I saw Al Pfleuger, famous Florida taxidermist, ride the back of a huge shark. The beast struggled to dive, but couldn't. Al's fingers dug in his gills, forcing his head up. You think I lie? We took pictures. Ask Al."
HARRY S. BLAIR PELHAM,
N.Y. EXECUTIVE
"Golfers. Believe me, they are. I'm a golfer. Every time my opponents disappear behind a tree or in the rough, they forget to count strokes. I buy the drinks every time. Everyone gives me the horse laugh. Honesty doesn't pay. Not when playing golf."
KLMBERLY WLSS APPLETON,
WIS. WRITER
"There's no difference. Not that we mean to lie. The thrill of doing and then of retelling becomes an automatic exaggeration. I've had luck in both sports. In golf I hit three sand traps and made a five par. And I caught a 1,525-pound black marlin, a world record."
FRED A. NEUBERG POUND RIDGE,
N.Y. EXECUTIVE
"Golfers. I should know. I'm ex-president of the Hackensack Golf Club and a Canada Miramichi River salmon fisherman. The golfer talks in hundreds of yards. The fisherman talks in inches. I saw a folder, 'How to Win at Golf.' Inside was one word, 'Cheat.' "
BILL KLAESS ROCKVILLE CENTRE,
N.Y. AUTOMOBILE DEALER
"The true golfer never lies. He bends over backwards to obey the rules. He'll call a penalty shot on himself. The run-of-the-mill fisherman, however, is more apt to lie or exaggerate. Water does magnify the size of 'the one that got away.' "
NORMA SEWARD RICHMOND HILL,
N.Y. HOSTESS
"Golfers, the male variety. Most men are liars, anyway. The 'line' they give you. One tried to court me with stories about his golf. He said he belonged to 'The Hole-in-One Club.' Is there a 100% honest golfer? If so, he's the man a girl should marry."
OVIDIO POZO COCHABAMBA,
BOLIVIA U.S. VISITOR
"Fishermen. In my country we don't use rods and reels. We blast dynamite in a river or lake. The fish are stunned and go to the bottom. Then we dive for them. I've heard some fantastic stories about the number of fish my friends have brought up."
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