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They will not throw out the first ball in Baltimore's Memorial Stadium for eight weeks, but the scoreboard already shows a strikeout against the home team. Jerry Hoffberger, who owns both the Orioles and Baltimore's National Brewing Company, put in a bid of $27,500 for the scoreboard advertising rights at the city-owned stadium, but found the other day that his offer was topped by a $41,500 bid from the F. & M. Schaefer Brewing Company of Brooklyn. The Dodgers have scored at last.

Hired: Bones McKinney, former Wake Forest basketball coach, who used to get into such a frenzy that he once tried using a seat belt to keep himself benched, as a tranquilizer salesman for a North Carolina drug company.

After three wins in three weeks, Grand Prix driver Jim Clark might well have had reason to think he could beat his opposition in New Zealand with a horse and buggy. But the pace proved too tough for him when he swapped his 240-hp Lotus for a one-hp sulky (below). After driving an appropriately named trotter, Royal Scot, a few laps around a Christchurch training track, Clark turned in his silks. "The horse steered all right, but there aren't any brakes," he said. Told he was going only 28 mph, Clark replied, "It seemed a whole lot faster from where I was sitting."

A few days after his wedding Paul Hornung's book, Football and the Single Man, was marked down from $4.95 to $1.49 in a Beverly Hills, Calif. bookstore.

When he retired as a player a couple of years ago, a group of St. Louis businessmen commissioned a $50,000 bronze statue of Stan Musial, who is now the Cardinals' general manager. The work, which is nearing completion in the Alexandria, Va. studio of Sculptor Carl Christian Mose, will be placed in front of Busch Memorial Stadium sometime this summer. Mose, a baseball devotee who played as a semipro in Chicago 45 years ago, says, "The most important thing in the work was tying the whole thing together, making it drop into one piece—the uniform, the face, the hands and the bat." Once the statue is in place, the Cardinals' owners will find their general manager hard to shove around. Musial will be 10 feet tall, weigh a ton and stand on an eight-foot granite pedestal.

Florida Senator George Smathers, concerned that legislation to protect the alligator doesn't have enough teeth in it, has introduced a bill in the Senate that will make alligator-napping a federal offense, subject to a $1,000 fine and two years in prison. Noting that 1,000 alligators were killed in the Everglades in 1966 by poachers seeking to cash in on the public demand for skin shoes and handbags, Smathers said, "The alligator is one of the few living links with the prehistoric world and it should be preserved." One byproduct of his bill would be some added protection for Albert, the alligator mascot of Smathers' alma mater, the University of Florida, who has led a scale-raising existence in recent years. He has been kidnapped three times and not long ago was assaulted with a hatchet by students. Albert's molesters may now have to face the Feds.

Britain's splashy hairdresser, Vidal Sassoon, stays in the swim of things by butterflying up and down a pool in London three mornings each week. Recently he emerged dripping with a new idea for a haircut. "My latest creation [right] is ideally suited for swimmers," says Sassoon. "All they have to do when they come out of the water is run their fingers through their hair and it will fall into place." To get the proper effect Sassoon first gives a customer a permanent wave, then cuts the curls off, leaving the kinks. The cost to be curled and clipped: $22 in London, $25 in his New York and Washington salons.

The Montreal Canadiens, defending Stanley Cup champions, have been dozing in fourth place during most of the NHL season. The other day a hypnotist called Canadien Coach Toe Blake and offered to help cure the team's slump. "My powers are so great," said the hypnotist, "that I could put all your players to sleep over the telephone." "My problem," replied Blake, "is trying to wake them up."

The whole story behind the trade of Maury Wills to Pittsburgh, and who received who for what, is finally out. The Pirates got Wills all right, but the Dodgers got Bob Bailey, Gene Michael and a two-day quail shoot for Manager Walt Alston. While the trade was being arranged in Columbus, Ohio during the big-league meetings, Pittsburgh Manager Harry Walker told Alston about the lush bird-hunting country of southeast Alabama. An avid wildlife photographer, Alston said a quail hunt ought to be included in the trade. So two weeks ago Walker took time off from his hardware business in Leeds, Ala. to squire Alston around a nearby plantation. Alston shot more with his camera than he did with his gun (eight birds) and at the end of his stay wondered about a return invitation. Consider it, Harry. Maybe Don Drysdale and....