PEOPLE

Nameless people of the week:

The unidentified moviegoer who watched part of The Undefeated at a San Rafael, Calif. drive-in, stepped out of his car and shot John Wayne right through the heart with an arrow. This did not slow down the Duke, but it took experts two days to figure out how to extract the arrow without wrecking the screen.

The motorcycle nut who tore Naples apart one Saturday night. The main drag (Via Roma), the nearby squares and the sidewalk cafés were packed when a dark-haired youth exploded in the middle of it all on a souped-up Ducati 125. He roared down one-way bus lanes the wrong way, leaped the cycle from sidewalk to sidewalk and zipped in and out among the tables, scattering people, pigeons, ice cream, baby carriages and motorists, to say nothing of the Neapolitan police force. After two hours of what has been feebly described as unimaginable havoc he vanished into a maze of alleys in the old Toledo quarter and has not been seen since. "I am the Zorro of the motorcycle!" he told a friend, but Naples has dubbed him Agostino the Mad after Italy's motorcycle ace, Giacomo Agostini. Says Agostini the Real: "What I want to know is how he managed to get so much public enthusiasm that I can't cash in on."

Anyone who shells out $600,000 a week to charter the Queen Elizabeth II. The QE2 is available for private use, provided you give Cunard a few years' notice and do not insist on using her during the height of the Atlantic crossing season. For your $600,000 you get to invite 1,865 friends on your cruise, but bear in mind that the price will be slightly higher if you insist on top speed all week. And tips are not included.

Nonevent of the week:

A halftime contest between Lamar Hunt and Clint Murchison, longtime Texas rivals whose teams—the Chiefs and the Cowboys—met for the first time in Dallas. A wrestling match was suggested as apt, but both millionaires declined. "I don't want to get involved in any contest with Lamar," said Murchison. "He's won the Super Bowl, gotten Kansas City to build him a stadium and has sold it out in season tickets not only for this year but the next, none of which I have been able to do. At least I have figured out one thing. I know when to quit."

Kenya nixed the use of its wild lions, so for the sequel to his film Born Free Producer Carl Foreman found himself using zoo lions. Title of the movie? Ah, yes. Living Free.

"I just hope the pageant is as smooth as the trip," said Debbie Sue May, Miss Indiana, having piloted a Piper Cherokee Six all the way to Atlantic City for the Miss America contest. Unfortunately for Debbie it wasn't. She failed to make the semifinals, maybe because her hobbies are flying and jumping horses and her heart's desire is to sky-dive. On that stage in Convention Hall, Deb, you've got to think small.

Canada's sporting prime minister, Pierre Trudeau, definitely did swing through Ottawa between his skin-diving trip to the Caribbean and his yachting holiday in the Mediterranean, though Canadians can only be sure, according to one Toronto newspaper, because there was "evidence of wet flipper tracks coming and going."

Fingers:

Rogers Morton, Congressman from Maryland and Republican national chairman, was congratulating the winner of the Governor's Cup Race in the 23rd Annual Crab Derby in Crisfield, Md. when the congratulatee pinched him. "A Democratic crab," Morton muttered, shifting his grip.

The Cincinnati Bengals' Mike Reid dislocated his right index finger in an exhibition game and has had to stop practice—piano practice, that is. Reid, who is scheduled to play Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue with the Cincinnati Orchestra in April, says, "Now I can't do anything about getting the piece ready for at least two months." He also is scheduled to play a season opener against Oakland. For that he is ready.

And then there's Antonio Ordó√±ez, who was gored in the linger. In Linares last month a bull took Ordó√±ez' cape during the first set of veronicas, and to the audible disgust of the crowd Ordó√±ez, instead of recovering it, turned and fled. Official word is that as Ordó√±ez vaulted the barrera the bull nailed the very tip of the little finger of his pivoting left (or nonfighting) hand. No olés greeted Ordonez' retreat to his ranch for plastic surgery and an indefinite recuperation period described as "complete rest and total inactivity." He's still there, and the inactivity includes not answering the telephone.

There is Vice-President Agnew teeing off in Palm Springs again, and is it—can it be—in Agnew's foursome again—yes! Doug Sanders! Standing there! Not flinching!

A dozen boats a year run onto York Ledge outside of Falmouth harbor in Massachusetts, but early this month the reef claimed an especially fancy victim, Winthrop Aldrich's yacht Wayfarer. The 80-foot cruiser hit at 6 a.m. and just managed to struggle back to Falmouth in time to sink decorously at dockside. Damage estimates range up to $100,000, a jolt even for a former president and board chairman of The Chase Manhattan Bank and onetime Ambassador to the Court of St. James. Now there is talk that better warning markings will be placed at York Ledge. If so, local sailors have a friend at Chase Manhattan.

TWO PHOTOS