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Original Issue


Blowing the whistle as official starter for a bicycle race in Baltimore was a miniskirted hometown girl, better known as stripper Blaze Starr. Blaze gets a lot of requests to do things like this, which she accepts as part of her civic duty. But she doesn't really cycle any more. She keeps in condition by jogging. And what is her condition? It's 42-25-38, that's what her condition is.


Meanwhile, back at Cleveland's Pepper Pike Club, there was Ohio Governor James A. Rhodes, a bit late for a golf date. No matter, he dispatched an aide to pick up some golf togs, took his clubs and started playing in his business suit. Sixth tee, back came the man with the golf clothes. Rhodes stopped the game—stripped briskly to his shorts and socks—and changed costumes. And that's how the governor keeps in condition, Blaze.

They all laughed when Jockey Willie Shoemaker went out for basketball. His team, the Record Breakers, met Composer Burt Bacharach's Hightones in a charity game to raise funds for the Horsemen's Benevolent and Protective Association in Del Mar, Calif. But who scored the first basket—a neat 15-footer—and provided the spark that fired the Breakers to a runaway 61-41 victory? Right.

Keep your eye on Willie. That's Willie playing out there at center court. In the elevator sneakers.

Fund-raising also was behind that party staged by California Lieutenant Governor and Mrs. Ed Reinecke to boost the Sacramento Symphony. Actor Don DeFore auctioned off Robert Stack's golf bag, $105, and a dozen of Bing Crosby's golf balls—which drew 61¢ each over the list price, probably because they were autographed. Then the Reineckes donated a real, live horse named Mister Ed, which sold for $110, and the whole fun affair raised some $20,000. But one more thing: Mister Ed really turns out to be Missus Ed—he/she is quite pregnant—and what the buyer gets is the baby to be. Watch this space for further details.

Special Sporting Award to a man who may be out of Schlitz but never out of beer:

Ever since 1896, Charles Hawkins has been visiting the Holly Bush Inn at Staffordshire, England for a few pints of that good old mild. Now the brewery supplying the pub has decided to give 88-year-old Charlie free beer for the rest of his life. Charlie's wife Martha, who is 83, doesn't mind since, "He never has too much, and he's always home on time." But lest one put too much importance on the stuff, Martha says, "It isn't the beer which has kept him going all these years. It's my elderberry wine."

The spicy story of the week involves young Ben Colman, scion of the Colman mustard family. He was helicoptering to his cottage in Oxfordshire when the whirlybird faltered. So he crash-landed safely, picking out an appropriate spot. Field of mustard, of course.

The San Francisco Opera opened with Tosca, which is a pretty sporty affair all by itself. But there at the halftime break was Charley Krueger, the 49er defensive tackle, with all his 270 pounds neatly fitted into a tuxedo, escorting Kristin Adler, whose dad is general director of the opera. Krueger confessed to a little bit of coaching: "Kris gave me some material, like a playbook," he said. He studied it and, "It made the opera much more enjoyable for me." And, listen, about the clothes: "I knew that I was supposed to rent tails, but I just didn't have the courage."

The Twins' Dave Boswell has 22 new stitches in his pitching hand—he was "scuffling" with teammate Paul Ratliff and neglected to put down the glass he was holding at the time. Let's see, now. In two years Boswell has: 1) cut himself with a fishing knife, 2) been bitten by a snake, 3) gotten into a fight with a fan in a stadium parking lot, 4) flattened teammate Bob Allison, who was trying to act as a peacemaker, and then 5) been flattened himself by soon-to-be-fired Manager Billy Martin and 6) wrecked his pitching motion by, as he says, walking around in tight shoes—a mistake which brought on a condition not to be confused with the one that wrecked his form of 1969. That, he explains, was caused by "a frog in my upper back."

The following fish story is rated X—

Anglers the world over will be dismayed to learn that a gang of scientists is planning a sneaky new lure for Nessie, the Loch Ness monster. The crew, from an institution called the Academy of Applied Sciences at Belmont, Mass., will pour into the Scottish lake some "sex essences" of eels, sea cows, sea lions and fish. And if that fails to stir up Nessie, they plan to play underwater tapes of eels and sea lions eating, fighting and mating.

Pay no attention, Nessie. Stay down there, old girl. What do they think this is: Denmark?