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Original Issue


Did the students riot when Coach Bob Delle insisted that the football team get haircuts? Did they burn down Twisp (Wash.) High School, demonstrate, strike or maybe seize the principal's office? No. The boys went out and got crew cuts. Then they swept up all the hair and had it stuffed into a nice pillow for the coach.

We might as well get set for more motorcycle movies:

Robert Redford has finished Little Fauss and Big Halsy, a with-it film about two guys vrooming around the motorcycle-racing circuit. It is full of gritty realism, and while Redford did a lot of his own racing scenes he is not all that crazy about it. Cycling is fun, he says, but skiing is better. Which makes Redford sort of an Uneasy Rider.

And what of Barbra Streisand, the delicate flower of Funny Girl? Her latest is The Owl and the Pussycat, and in part of that film she dons black leathers and crash helmet and appears with a mean 750-cc. Harley. Barbra plays a down-on-her-luck go-go dancer and part-time prostitute, or what one movie wag calls a "folk hooker" for short.

Be assured that this is all pretty adult fare, in tune with the times. Whatever became of that sweet, lovable innocent character played by Marlon Brando?

It was time for Coach Hank Stram's press conference following the Denver-Kansas City game and, "This place is as good as any," he announced—leading the gentlemen of the press into the gentlemen's room.

"The sentence you will receive is due in great part to consideration given you by the victim and his family. Much more consideration than you gave him when you hit him in the head with a baseball bat." So said Judge Frank Shea, suspending Grady Ezell's sentence of two years at hard labor for attacking Umpire Michael Dessauer at a New Orleans Recreation Department kids' baseball game. The 36-year-old Ezell, father of one of the little players, was ordered to pay medical expenses, reimburse Dessauer for loss of wages and to stay away from him for two years. Also from future kids' games, because, "It seems," said Judge Shea, "that you have lost all perspective about the purpose behind 8-year-olds playing ball."

Listen now to a TV network flack plugging Roosevelt Grier's role as a pianist on the Danny Thomas show: "Rosey is almost as facile on the 88 as he was with a football." Swell. Now listen to the ex-Ram lineman tell it like it really is: "I touched a football a few times," he says. "Never scored a touchdown. I did get a safety once, in high school." And about that piano: "I don't try to go out and kill nobody with my piano playing. I handle the piano about like I do a football."

Meanwhile, over on the other set, Johnny Bench is arriving for a part in Mission: Impossible. He is greeted by a tape recording: "Good morning, Mr. Bench. We are filming a Mission: Impossible and would like to have you participate. Your mission, John, should you choose to accept it, is to perform the duties of a military officer. As always, should you flop, the studio will disavow any knowledge of your activities and avoid baseball players in future castings. This tape will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck, John."

Everybody remembers the hare and the tortoise? Well, the people at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo staged a three-tortoise race and clocked Peter and George careening over the 2½-block course in 3.54:10 and 3.54:20, respectively. A hare would have had his best run against Weaver in this version of the old shell game. He had to be carried across the finish line.

In New York the papers reported that one Gregorio Contreras hit for $100,000 in the official state lottery, but it took 24 hours to find him. "The people from the lottery, they want me to be there when the ticket is drawn...they want me to get up at 8 o'clock! But you know, on my day off I like to sleep late," Contreras was quoted as explaining. O.K., but where was he all the rest of that time? "Out playing Parcheesi with a friend." Probably didn't want to quit while he was ahead.

The Washington State U. football team arrives in Eugene to meet Oregon U.

Thief breaks into their motel, steals WSU Photographer Bob Bullis' $2,000 movie camera, Head Coach Jim Sweeney's pants, plus wallet and $40, another $40 belonging to Offensive Line Coach Jim Erkenbeck and Athletic Director Stan Bates' peanuts. A 53¢ jar.

WSU loses game.

Right. There's no place like home games.

Nessie: III

When last we left Nessie, the world's favorite monster was still hiding on the bottom of Loch Ness, avoiding the crew from the Belmont (Mass.) Academy of Applied Science. Now we tune in as the academy's Robert Rines and Tim Dinsdale. of the Loch Ness Investigation Bureau, are out there in a small boat. They are trailing plastic jugs filled with concentrated salmon oil and other stuff that International Flavors & Fragrances Inc. has bottled for them. The jugs are full of holes to let the goop leak out slowly. Then, suddenly, both Rines and Dinsdale realize that they are fishing for Nessie—and that if they get a strike, it is liable to be an absolute dandy. "They both turned green and headed right back to shore," reports Carol Hurley, Rines' secretary.

Atta girl, monster. The score is now Nessie 3, Academy 0. It begins to look like a sweep.