So much for old 1970. On to the Sporting New Year with this selected sampler of 1971 resolutions—
I am resolving to keep my weight down, oh, five or six pounds, so I won't have to take it off in spring training. Also, I could put up with winning the MVP award again. And, as for contract talks, $100,000 sounds like a nice, round figure: Boog Powell, Baltimore Orioles.
I will carry four-leaf clovers and rabbits' feet inside my helmet. And I resolve to stop eating dog bones before I play each game: Tom Woodeshick, Philadelphia Eagles.
I will start a Society for the Preservation and Protection of Dugout Water Coolers, Bats and Helmets. Memberships accepted as of Jan. 1. Anyone interested write Lou Piniella in care of the Kansas City Royals.
My real resolution is to quit as soon as I can afford it: Howard Cosell, ABC.
Resolution? I've got three. I resolve to get down to 125 pounds on my mainly grapefruit diet, I resolve to learn German so I can talk to everybody in Munich in 1972, and I resolve to let my hair grow long. Short hair is too boyish: Debbie Meyer, 1968 Olympic triple medalist.
I will pray more than I have been praying. I resolve not to let my weight get over 220. I am determined to stay in condition to show Joe Frazier is not the true champion. The new year will be complete when I get my crown back: Muhammad Ali.
Once I was for a merger of the NBA and ABA. Now I'm against it. I know that it's everybody's wish to get married, but I resolve that we should have a longer courtship. I courted my wife for five years: Irv Kosloff, owner of the Philadelphia 76ers.
I worked all season on this resolution and now I've got it. I resolve to claim George Blanda the next time the Oakland Raiders put him on waivers: Hank Stram, coach of the Kansas City Chiefs.
I don't have any wine, women and song to give up...I resolve to use my time more wisely in 1971: Willie Lanier, Kansas City Chiefs.
I resolve to wear a tasteful little nameplate on my lapel at all races next year. You know, so all those people will stop mistaking me for Cary Grant: Andy Granatelli, STP racing tycoon.
I don't believe in resolutions. Oh, maybe little ones. Like, I resolve that I won't get excited at games. I won't let the officials bother me too much. I expect to break this resolution at the first game of 1971: Lefty Driesell, Maryland basketball coach.
I resolve to ask for a new costume. I'm tired of appearing topless: Smokey the Bear.
Well, we lost our first 15 games. Then we won only one of our first 28 games. And I have been known to have my problems with officials. So I resolve that I won't question any calls against my team in the NBA playoffs this season: Bill Fitch, coach of the Cleveland Cavaliers.
Last year I resolved to retire as a driver and I did it. Now I resolve to develop a really important new vehicle—a special motorcycle. This one will race across the rooftops of all those cars on the L.A. freeways: Dan Gurney.
I'm not giving up anything. I'm having too much fun now. I resolve to keep all the vices I've got: Rod Gilbert, New York Rangers.
I will cut down on my smoking. I am going to cut from two packs to one pack per game. Unless we go to the Super Bowl—in which case I resolve to go from two to four packs per game: Len Tose, owner of the Philadelphia Eagles.
We leave old Connie Mack Stadium in January for the new $50 million stadium in South Philadelphia. So I resolve never to lose another game in old Connie Mack Stadium: Bill Giles, Philadelphia Phillies executive.
We set an NHL record last season with 24 tie games. I resolve never again to give my husband a tie for Christmas: Mrs. Ed Snider, wife of the owner of the Philadelphia Flyers.
The rest of me is fine, but my right arm told me never to resolve that I will win 20 games or save 50: Dick Selma, Philadelphia Phillies relief pitcher.
Every New Year I resolve not to go through what I went through the year before. This time, I resolve to produce a hit record and become just as big a knockout in show business as in boxing: Joe Frazier, NBA world heavyweight champion.
Dick doesn't make resolutions. Why should he? Nobody knows what they are going to do from one day to the next: Mrs. Era Allen, mother of Richie.
I resolve to quit smoking in 1971. This is the 901st time I have made this resolution: Dave McNally, Baltimore Orioles.
Listen: I make a lot of New Year resolutions. But the guys who play for me keep making me break them. As for bad habits, my only bad habit is losing: Rick Forzano, Navy football coach.
I resolve never to let the midi-length skirt invade tennis: Marilyn Fernberger, Philadelphia, pro tour promoter.
We lost 23 straight games to Baltimore, including 12 in 1970. I resolve that we are going to beat the Orioles more often in 1971: Cedric Tallis, general manager of the Kansas City Royals.
I resolve never to spend another sleepless night worrying about whether we win or lose. But it won't work. I'll be awake at night all next season: Frank Lucchesi, Philadelphia Phillies manager.
Je promets de commencer l'entra√Ænement de jeunes coureurs de ski américains. Alors, qui sait, peut-√™tre un jour ils arriveront √† battre les Fran√ßais, non? Jean-Claude Killy, trois médailles d'or, 1968.
Resolved—I don't like this dumb hat, either: Smokey the Bear.