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Original Issue


Let's hear it for Smokey the Bear. On page 213 of the 1972 federal budget we learn that Smokey is expected to earn $172,000 for the U.S. Treasury next year in fees from private users of his name and image for things like Smokey dolls. Wonderful. That means the rest of us are going to have to cough up only $229,100,828,000.

Those-wedding-bells-are-breaking-up-that-old-team of ours dept.: In a burst of nuptial activity, the following sporting mergers were announced over the last fortnight:

Former Australian Davis Cup Captain Harry Hopman was wed to the former Lucy Pope Fox, niece of Boston's famous former tennis champion, Hazel Wight-man. Alfredo Millet, the former Mexican Davis Cup player, took as his bride Miss Jane Post, who isn't the former anything, except Jane Post, which seems to be enough. The marriage of 64-year-old Hopman and Mrs. Fox took place quietly in Port Washington, N.Y., but the Post-Millet nuptials were a little splashier. Jane's dad is Troy Post of Dallas, owner of the posh Acapulco resort, Tres Vidas, and Poppa turned the place over for the wedding reception, where guests included Texas oilman John Hill, comedian Alan King and Lyndon and Lady Bird Johnson. The former President was resplendent in blue blazer, striped shirt and white tie. As for the wedding couple, the bride wore white and so did the groom—a long-sleeved cutout shirt and white pants, worn with a scarf. Alfredo's outfit may have been O.K. with Jane Post, but it would never have gone over with Emily. Alfredo has been married before.

A bit farther north, bells were ringing for Patricia Mariles and Jorge Mendez. He is the son of Mexican General Jorge Mendez Medina, and she is the daughter of Mexico's former equestrian Olympic champion, General Humberto Mariles. In order for the father to give the bride away, they had to hold the wedding in Santa Marta Acatitla Prison, near Mexico City, where General Mariles has been, ah, in residence since 1964. So it wasn't Tres Vidas. The guest list still looked pretty impressive and included Mexico's former president, Miguel Aleman.

Actually, the setting wasn't all that grim. Apparently, General Mariles has enjoyed most of the comforts of home during his stay at Santa Marta Acatitla—with one exception. They won't let him do any jumping.

Some of those newlyweds might take a leaf from the book of Vicki O'Connell, wife of San Francisco Bay Bombers roller derby player-coach, Charley O'Connell, on the fine art of keeping a marriage on the track, so to speak. One of Vicki's big problems is "weirdos." For example, "A few weeks ago a lady came up and shook me for 10 minutes and kept screaming, 'You don't know how lucky you are to be married to Charley O'Connell!' Finally I pulled away from her and said, 'Lady, when he's on the track he's all yours. But when he's home he's mine. I'll sell you one of his dirty socks if you like, but that's all.' "

And, finally, there are the little problems that come with divorce. Ralph Wilson, owner of the Buffalo Bills, is parting from his wife Janet. He is slated to hand over the $140,000 family home in Grosse Pointe, Mich., pay attorneys' fees of $350,000 and give Janet $1 million in cash and another $1½ million in 10 yearly installments. That's the largest cash settlement on record in Michigan. Is that why this man is wincing? No. Ralph is wincing because Janet requested, and got, two lifetime 50-yard-line season tickets to all Detroit Lions home games. Ralph doesn't even get custody for two weeks of the exhibition season.

The Anybody-Can-Make-a-Mistake Citation of the Week goes to those wonderfully droll British playing-card people who put out a deck of cards bearing the likenesses of prominent Britons in the shape of hearts, diamonds, etc. Prime Minister Heath, for example, appears as the ace of hearts; former Minister of Transport Barbara Castle, the two of hearts (Women's Lib is not too big in England); former Prime Minister Wilson, the ace of diamonds. Conservative M.P. Enoch Powell, Britain's chief advocate of racial exclusion, came out as the ace of clubs, but only after a swift (and embarrassed) reshuffle by the manufacturers, who belatedly realized the implications of his original assignment as the ace of another suit. A chess-set manufacturer who got into the act, however, is reported to have cast Powell as a white knight.

Prince Juan Carlos of Spain, who is very big on sailing, gymnastics, hunting and riding, has eased off on the karate. Juan Carlos, a black belt second class, let this little item slip during a luncheon given in Washington by Secretary of State Rogers and his wife. His exact words were that his knuckles "had been cracked" by karate. "So karate broke the royal fingers?" a reporter inquired. "The fingers are not royal," the Prince replied. "They are just fingers." Yeah, well, either way it hurts.

Down below here we have—we have—well, Neptune's answer to the water mattress, Manufacturer Jack O'Neill's inflatable frogman's suit to keep the swimmer warm in the coldest water. That's Denmark's redoubtable Olympic sailing champion, Paul Elvstrom, on the right, testing the new device in Vedbaek Harbor. "Fantastic!" Elvstrom announced. "Now I can sail through the whole winter without any risk." Without any risk? Then how come he's carrying a spare?