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Charles Pasarell, who finished 11th in the World Championship Tennis standings, is getting married to Shireen Fareed this week and plans to whisk her off to Africa on a barnstorming tennis tour. Accompanying the bridal pair on their honeymoon will be Arthur Ashe, Tom Okker and Marty Riessen. Two is company, three is a crowd and four is a game of doubles. But what's five?

The injury-plagued Ohio State Buckeyes could take some small comfort from the plight of Ohio's 31-year-old attorney general, William J. Brown, who dislocated his left shoulder recently in a game of touch football on the OSU campus. The former Cadiz High School halfback says he was injured while attempting to block an unidentified ex-OSU gridder in a pickup game involving the attorney general's staff. The Brown team, of which W.J.B. is captain because "it's my ball," also lost the game.

The Crystal Tissue Company of Middletown, Ohio had to shut down operations for four days last week when two bowling balls were found clogging a line in the waste treatment system. "We absolutely have no positive knowledge of how the bowling balls got into the line," sputtered Crystal's vice-president, Thomas McMurray, who must not be a bowler. Obviously, they were gutter balls.

Here are a bunch of Beasleys. At left is Minnesota Viking Tight End John Beasley with wife Vicki, and in the Stetson is Joseph Beasley Jr. of Lovelock, Nev., the owner of a silver mine, with his wife and daughter. Two years ago when Joseph, 74, saw John play in the Super Bowl, he thought there was something familiar about him. "That man sure does carry himself like a Beasley," he said, and a quick check of the family tree disclosed that, sure enough, John was a great nephew. It turned out Joe wasn't so bad as an uncle, either. This season John has been sidelined with a knee injury, which has been a little demoralizing, he admits. Every cloud has a silver lining, however. Last week John was back in Minnesota after a trip to Lovelock, trying to decide whether to accept his great-uncle's offer of a $60,000-a-year job as president of his silver mine.

Out in New Mexico a worm rancher applied to Revenue Commissioner Franklin Jones to have fishing worms exempted from the 4% sales tax, along with cattle, sheep and other livestock. Jones wriggled out of that one, saying that worms are not livestock. Apparently you have to be at home on the range, not under it.

Sandy Koufax and his bride, the former Anne Widmark, daughter of actor Richard Widmark, weren't kidding when they told friends they were moving from Los Angeles to Maine to get away from it all. After settling into their hideaway in the woods near North Ellsworth, the Kou-faxes received a phone call from an enterprising journalist wanting to come around, take some pictures and interview the new local celebrities. The former Cy Young Award winner, whose own interviews on NBC's baseball Game of the Week are legend, snapped, "I consider that an invasion of privacy."

Dinah Shore, in New York to announce a new $110,000 golf tournament to be added to the ladies' pro tour next April, said she will try to get her 26 handicap down to 16 or so in order to enter the Colgate-Palmolive-sponsored event. "I don't deserve my golf score," commented Dinah, "but then I was born with buck teeth, and I didn't deserve them, either."

Former Wimbledon tennis champ Althea Gibson, who switched to golf some years ago, complaining there was "no place to go in tennis," was asked what she now finds to be the main difference between tennis and golf. "In one of 'em," she said, "you run a lot."

Singing in a high-pitched tenor with an authentic country twang, Met Shortstop Bud Harrelson was creating a sort of sensation last week at Henry's nightclub in Brooklyn. There, backed by the Fred Warner Trio and his own guitar, he belted out Buck Owens and Merle Haggard favorites in a fashion that prompted one reviewer to comment, "He is not likely to strike terror into the hearts of Nashville's top stars." In light of his notices, Harrelson will probably be back at his old stand at Shea Stadium next spring. Meanwhile, he plans to take voice lessons.

Secretary of Defense Melvin Laird, home from a trip to Southeast Asia, thinks more TV football games ought to be beamed to our boys in Vietnam. O.K., if he is talking about the Dolphins, Vikings and like that. But what do you say we send all the Buffalo games to the viet Cong, Mr. Secretary?

Any Notre Dame fan worth his shamrock will recognize Frank Leahy, now 63 and apparently recovered enough from a long illness to get out with the old pigskin for an afternoon's practice session near his home at Lake Oswego, Ore. His two pupils are grandsons Frank, 11, and John, 9—both quarterbacks on grade-school teams.