PEOPLE

Skiing at Gstaad, Teddy Kennedy and his close friend, Senator John Tunney of California, happened to arrive at the funicular railway up to the slopes in the midst of a horde. According to a report in the London Daily Mail, Kennedy told an official who he was and asked to be allowed to go to the head of the line. "No exceptions," or words to that effect, a Swiss guard said glacially. "You either queue up, or you stay down." Piqued, the Senators adjourned sine die.

Houston Oiler Quarterback Dan Pastorini, who had fairly good statistics last season, now has some others to think about. They belong to actress June Wilkinson, whom Pastorini will marry on March 18 in Carmel, Calif. The prospective bride, an English actress, measures 46-21-37. Pastorini, 23, met Miss Wilkinson, 32, when she appeared in Pajama Tops in Houston last October.

The week's biggest winners are celebrating the second devaluation of the dollar? No. This Swiss movement is a five-minute calisthenics break taken daily by workers in a soup works in Gümligen, Switzerland to prepare them for the arduous times ahead. It is an experiment that bears watching, maybe by the weak dollar that hasn't shown much muscle for years.

Blaze Starr, enjoying a vacation from her 24-year career as a stripper, was guest of honor at the Charles Town (W. Va.) Race Course on Men's Lib Night. "It's about time men were given equal rights," she declared. "Women have had it their way long enough." To show she meant it, she greeted winning Jockey Dean Johnston Jr.—aboard, ironically, Man The Fort in the Blaze Starr Purse for mares and fillies—with a very big kiss. "I really laid one on him," she said. "I think I scared him."

Now here's a wedding night story that's going to bowl you over. It seems that after the last rice had been thrown and the bouquet tossed, Harriet and Joe Unser of Albany, N.Y. gathered together their luggage—two funny-looking little round bags—and went off into the evening to the Sporthaven Bowling Lanes. There Harriet, still in her gown, joined her regular Saturday night team, the Blackfeet, and Joe, still in his tux, joined the Sioux. "I only bowled 61, and my average is 141," the new Mrs. Unser said, "but it was a great day just the same." Why did the Unsers go bowling on their wedding night? "Well," explained Harriet, "I paid all that money for the gown, and I wanted to get some use out of it. And besides, we didn't have anything else to do."

"Any good chicken farmer will tell you never to put all your eggs in one basket," says Carroll Shelby, explaining why a former chicken farmer and builder of some of the world's hottest cars is now making some of Texas' hottest chili. His Texas Brand Original Chili Preparation is selling well on the West Coast. "I've always liked to cook," the lanky Shelby says. "A friend told me my batch of chili was better than any he could buy and suggested I sell it." A sample warning from the instructions: "The heat will jolt you. The roof of your mouth will corrode, and the tissues of your cheeks will contract like cellophane." As they say in racing, that's cooking.

The Seattle Totems are last in the Western Hockey League and last in the heart of Mrs. Senie Jacobs. In fact, they don't rank too high with the whole Totems Booster Club, of which Mrs. Jacobs is an officer. "Just plain slobs is what they were," Mrs. Jacobs says of the Totems' behavior at a buffet dinner the Booster Club laid on for the team. "One Totem was dipping his hands in the fruit salad," she shudders. "I walked over and said, 'Will you please get your hands out of the food?' He reached his hand back into the salad, pulled out a piece of pineapple and stuck it under my nose. We had a centerpiece made out of fruit. They ground the bananas from it into the floor there at the Moose Club." The Totems were described as "noisy," "ill-mannered," "drinking excessively" and "the worst thing I've seen in 25 years." Next big event on the Booster Club's agenda: the annual awards banquet. What do you give to a bunch of people who have everything?

Name of the week, and possibly the season: Wylie Gouge, who is in charge of concessions at North Carolina State athletic events.

For the first time, Washington's prestigious Burning Tree Golf Club flew its flag at half-staff for a nonmember: caddie Allen Whitehead. Whitehead, affectionately known as Napoleon, had been popular with VIP members, particularly Dwight Eisenhower. Members recalled one occasion when Whitehead was caddying for Eisenhower and, as he often did, had bet his entire caddie fee on "his man." The President three-putted the first hole and lost it. He also three-putted the second hole, losing that one, too. On the third he had a 20-footer but putted only halfway to the cup on his first attempt. That was too much for Napoleon. "Dammit, Mr. President," he shouted, "get 'em up!" Ike sank the next putt.

"All my father and I had in common was our name," said Marcel Cerdan Jr., announcing the end of his unillustrious boxing career. The son of the famous French champion added, "Father could run around in the snow for six miles, naked, without catching anything. But me, the slightest draft and, bang, I'm in bed with a cold. A lot of people would have preferred to see me shining shoes, but I chose boxing because it was the hard way."

Pop singer Neil Diamond, a former star fencer for New York University, plans to write a ballet for the New York City Ballet Company. Its title: Fencers.

PHOTO