PEOPLE

Well, if it wasn't Woody Hayes promoting his new book You Win With People in front of a couple of cows. Not really. What it happened to be was a life-size butter statue of Woody sculpted especially for the Dairy Building at the Ohio State Fair. This was hardly proof that Woody was going soft in his old age. The book was hot off the presses and the Woody statue was on ice.

David Eisenhower ended his brief tenure as a sports columnist for the Philadelphia Bulletin with a line shot deep to center. "Journalists are rarely as interesting as they would like to think," he said. Which seems perfectly clear, as Eisenhower heads for law school.

No, groupies, it's not Grand Funk Railroad. That's Los Angeles Dodger Coach Red Adams on trombone; Steve Yeager, guitar; Claude Osteen, piano; and Bill Buckner, trumpet and electric guitar, helping to prove the Dodgers "the most musical team in either league" (as rated by the American Music Conference). The jam heralded the team's rise to the top of the National League West. Alas, then came the Reds and, of course, the blues.

Male Chauvinism Department (Pig Division). Out of 3,000 youngsters participating during two months of competition throughout the state of Rhode Island, the winner in an Ernie DiGregorio behind-the-back, between-the-legs basketball stunts and skills contest was Frances Duffy, a 14-year-old ninth-grader from Pawtucket. Frances is a girl.

Male Chauvinism Department (Snake Division). Twin brothers Tom and Mike Osborne, who are varsity football players at the University of Toledo, raise rats in their dorm room to feed to their pet boa constrictor, Herbie, who also lives in the room. Herbie is a girl.

Meaningful Relationship of the Week: Jean Ham, University of Kentucky director of extension services for home economics, to the Wildcat football team. At the invitation of new Coach Fran Curci, Mrs. Ham spoke to the team on the proper use of silverware and napkins, tipping, how to seat a female companion and how to help her with her coat. Kentucky was 3-8 last year.

While Henry Aaron chases Babe Ruth, Chris Drago chases Henry Aaron. Drago, 32, is a former economics instructor who is so wild about Henry he drives from Memphis to Atlanta for all Brave home games in a 1959 Buick he bought for $8 after it was abandoned on a parking lot. He plans to make most of Aaron's road games, too, by purchasing the $200 Greyhound bus special that will permit him to ride anywhere during a two-month period. Already Drago has witnessed some milestones: homer No. 700, for instance. "We were in row 18," he says. "When the Hammer swung, I knew the ball was out. I thought I had a chance to catch it but it sailed into row 20. Next time I'll have a fishnet." Last winter Drago realized employment would interfere with his quest. He quit his job. "I'll go to a lot of inconvenience to do interesting things," he says.

Cincinnati Bengal Quarterback Virgil Carter, a statistician and computer tinkerer in the off-season, will write a syndicated column this fall. Fans are to propose field situations that Carter will feed into a computer and solve by probability analysis. The Bengals, of course, have their own computer in the person of Coach Paul Brown, who calls all the plays himself. Perhaps that is why Carter's column will be "blacked out" in Cincinnati. He doesn't want to be in the position of calling "run" on Monday morning in the same situation that Brown called "pass" on Sunday afternoon.

No, it wasn't an arrow shot by a dwarf that George Marks discovered in the bough of that cedar tree. It was Bob Betley's golf ball, which had come to rest right next to a bird's nest during the Utah Open in Draper. Marks, an official of the Utah Golf Association, ruled Betley should get a free drop since, had he played the lie, he would have struck the nest and the brown egg perched within. Betley got his drop but not his birdie. Leading the tournament at the time, he went bogey-bogey-bogey and wound up second. The egg missed the cut.

The 49er Recipe Book, just released, contains the favorite dishes of the San Francisco 49ers as prepared by their wives. Well, almost. Sue Brodie makes "Mamma Manouch's Stuffed Grape Leaves" for John. Cynthia Washington prepares "Cherry Sour Cream Muffins" for Gene. Debbie Sniadecki's recipe for hubby Jim: "Take one pack of Stouffer's frozen lasagna. Open it."

Whittlin' Walt Garrison, the wood-cuttin' running back of the Dallas Cowboys, was allowed to sit out practice the other day. "Gave me a good chance to get into some serious whittlin'," said Walt. So Garrison carved out a serious figure that looked suspiciously like a large fish. It was. A dolphin.

TWO PHOTOS