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Original Issue


The tariff is $11, but heavyweight champion George Foreman will meet his beauty parlor's price if he decides to wear his hair in braids when he goes to Zaire—as if Muhammad Ali could care. Foreman, who has tried "cornrows" before and likes them, will defend his title, if not his hairstyle, against Ali next month.

Even politicians of unimpeachable integrity find themselves on the firing line these days. Take Colorado Governor John Vanderhoof. The other day he was watching a baseball game in Denver. Pete LaCock of Wichita, who leads the American Association in home runs, was upset when the official scorer, Frank Haraway of the Denver Post, ruled that a Denver outfielder had erred on a LaCock drive. In the bottom of the eighth, after Haraway charged LaCock with a fielding error, LaCock angrily fired the ball at the press box, narrowly missing the governor, who was sitting nearby. No error was charged.

If bad tennis is a prerequisite for good hockey, Philadelphia will keep the Stanley Cup a long time. That was the prediction offered after five members of the champion Philadelphia Flyers had groped about the court in losing two abbreviated sets to a giggling Billie Jean King, player-coach of the Philadelphia Freedoms. Ms. King did her best to keep it competitive, once serving left-handed, but even without their skates the game was too slick for the Broad Street Bullies. Ms. King beat Gary Dornhoefer and Rick MacLeish 3-0, winning 12 consecutive points, then ripped Dornhoefer, MacLeish, Don Saleski, Orest Kindrachuk and Dave Schultz 2-0, taking eight of 10 points. Said King, "That MacLeish was serious. I think he had a side bet." Said MacLeish, "We lost because we played after nine o'clock. That's our bedtime."

Dredging up a moist memory from his damp past, Cleveland's dried-out Gaylord Perry has revealed the brand of gum he favored at the finger-licking height of his pitching career. "Spearmint was my favorite," Perry said. "I had a soft spot for Mr. Wrigley. I always got an extra kick out of using his gum to help beat his team."

After John Unites announced his retirement from pro football, he returned to Baltimore to discover he had lost another job: playing first base for the softball team sponsored by his own Golden Arm restaurant. "If you're not good enough for the San Diego Chargers," team Manager Henry Amos said, "you're not good enough for us." Rumors that Unitas has asked to be traded are unfounded.

For Jockey Bobby White, it was a race he could sink his teeth into—literally. After finishing second aboard Whizzy's Night at Bay Meadows, White realized something was missing as he approached the clerk of the scales. What was missing was White's upper plate, which he ran back to retrieve from the track. White's only comment was, "I can't weigh out without my teeth."

Out of a friendship begun at a celebrity tennis tournament, the Warriors' 6'7" Rick Barry insisted that Ricardo Montalban borrow his Datsun 240Z while Montalban starred in a production of The King and I. With personalized license plates reading RICK 24, Barry's car seemed almost perfectly suited to the actor. "Not quite," said Montalban, a mere 6-footer. "I had to adjust the front seat."

Blitzing NFL quarterbacks was never as demanding as the chase scene Wayne Walker played in San Francisco, where he now works as a KPIX television sportscaster who is ready to meet all challenges offered by viewers. Responding to one such dare, the former Detroit linebacker raced a cable car up precipitous Hyde Street as a flock of bemused tourists looked on. Walker stayed with the conveyance for most of the two-block run, but got edged out at the finish. "My wind was fine," he explained, "but toward the end my legs tightened up."

Playing its ace in the outfield proved no handicap to the Republicans' baseball team, which beat the Democrats 7-3 for the 11th straight year at Baltimore's Memorial Stadium. In the interests of fair play, North Carolina Representative Wilmer (Vinegar Bend) Mizell, who helped pitch the Pirates to a pennant in 1960, was prohibited from the mound and relegated to center field. Undaunted, Mizell drove in two runs.

Florida football Coach Doug Dickey was taught a lesson in humility when he had his picture taken with Mickey Mouse at Disney World, a gimmick to hype ticket sales for the Gators' opener against California in Gainesville. Said Dickey of Mickey: "I went to the Magic Kingdom and was told that Mickey could only dash out for a quick shot and then back, else he'd be mobbed by children. Sure enough, as soon as he showed up he was surrounded by thousands of kids. Not a living soul knew who I was, or cared. I tell you, that's humbling, being ignored in favor of a mouse, and a phony one at that."

When the photo had been taken, Dickey asked Mickey, "Is it hot in that suit?" Said Mickey to Dickey, waving to the kids: "Hotter than hell."

Pete Rose, who does not smoke, has recently completed a cigar commercial. And what will this do to his clean-cut, Charlie Hustle image? "I wouldn't endorse anything you inhale," he explained solemnly. "Nobody inhales a cigar."