RALPH KRAMDEN WOULD DIE

The Brunswick Pinbuster Tournament attracted a huge field of
14,000 amateur bowling teams throughout the U.S. and Canada. When
all had posted their three-game handicapped scores, two of them --
the Gremlins of Jefferson Valley, N.Y., and the Open Hearth Lounge
team of Pueblo, Colo. -- were even for first place at 3,606 pins. A
tiebreaker was held June 21 with the two teams rolling simultaneously
on lanes 2,500 miles apart. The Gremlins held a 72-pin lead
after one game, saw it dwindle to 40 after two, then pulled out the
match 3,274-3,218. The Open Hearth's five virile young men, all
under 33, were mortified. The Gremlins are a team of five women,
average age 46. Their spiritual leader is 69-year-old Helen Schirmer
-- these older women bowlers seem to be everywhere these days (see
FACES IN THE CROWD, page 73) -- whose 23-year-old granddaughter is
also a Gremlin. Schirmer quit bowling in 1978, then started again
last year as part of a rehabilitation program for a bronchial
condition. Now she's bombing around Jefferson Valley in the
championship prize received by each member of the Gremlins, a hot
new Dodge Lancer -- and the Open Hearth boys are weeping in their
beer.

Photo(s):

SAM Q. WEISSMAN NO CAPTION