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Original Issue

Tall story from Down Under...a four-wheel Terminator...Switzer misremembers the Alamo

By former SI swimsuit model Kim Alexis, her first triathlon, in White Plains, N.Y. Alexis finished 179th among the 708 women who completed the event, which included a half-mile swim, a 12-mile bike ride and a three-mile run. She broke the tape in 1:20:44—22:28 behind winner Karen Smyers—even though she had not ridden a bicycle since junior high school. "Every time someone passed me, I just yelled out, 'How much farther?' " she said.

A Humvee all-terrain vehicle similar to the ones used by U.S. troops in Operation Desert Storm, for $45,000, by Arnold Schwarzenegger. Schwarzenegger, who is the first civilian to own a Humvee, customized his model by having terminator painted on both sides and by installing a cellular phone, black leather seats imported from Austria and an elaborate stereo system.

Out of court for an undisclosed sum of money, a suit against Detroit Piston forward Dennis Rodman brought by Nancy Clark, a Realtor from Indianapolis, who claimed she lost two teeth when Rodman collided with her while chasing a ball into the Silverdome seats during a game against the San Antonio Spurs in 1987. In his opening statement, Rodman's lawyer, Stuart Ulanoff, said Clark would not have been injured had she been paying attention to the game instead of rating which women in the stands were wearing the ugliest outfits. Clark's attorney, Michael Materna, called Rodman a showboat and claimed that his actions were unnecessary since the Pistons were ahead by 35 points when the incident occurred.

In his right ear by a treble fishhook, New Orleans Saints defensive end Michael Simmons, after he stepped on a fishing rod and flipped it so it struck him on the head, at the second annual Bayou Bass Challenge, in Morgan City, La. Simmons recovered in time to see former Minnesota Viking Roy Winston catch 15.03 pounds of fish and win the NFL division of the event. Winston attributed much of his good fortune to a lucky draw: He fished from boat number 60, which was also his jersey number.

In Australia, to begin a two-year Mormon mission, 7'6" Brigham Young center Shawn Bradley. Bradley, who has three years of college eligibility remaining, will proselytize door-to-door in Sydney and surrounding New South Wales. Though Bradley isn't likely to play much basketball Down Under, he has already been the subject of five Aussie television interviews, a newspaper profile and a magazine cover story that celebrated his on-court prowess.

By former University of Oklahoma demigod Barry Switzer, the Instituto Politecnico National of Mexico City White Eagles football team to a 14-7 loss against the minor league Oklahoma City Twisters in an exhibition game in Oklahoma City. At halftime, with the score tied 7-7, Switzer gave the White Eagles a pep talk in which he pleaded with them to "remember the Alamo! Remember the Alamo!"



A postrace Alexis and son Bobby.