Talkin' Baseball

In the Ballpark: The Working Lives of Baseball People
by George Gmelch and J.J. Weiner
Smithsonian Institution Press, $21.95

This book was written as a scholarly study of the workaday world
of baseball. Over a four-year period Gmelch, an anthropology
professor at Union College in Schenectady, N.Y., and Weiner, a
former student of Gmelch's, interviewed not only major and minor
league players and managers but also scouts, trainers,
groundskeepers, vendors, P.A. announcers, front office
functionaries, broadcasters, mascots, ushers and clubhouse
attendants. Perhaps as a result, this is--despite the pervading
tone of academic solemnity--one of the funniest of all baseball
books.

Consider, for example, Phillie Phanatic Tom Burgoyne's
comparison of his character with another famous mascot: "Unlike
the Chicken, the Phanatic is 6 feet, 8 inches tall and has an
86-90-inch waist and an unknown shoe size." Or his formula for
eliciting surefire laughs: "shining bald heads, eating fans'
popcorn, spilling popcorn, goosing vendors, stealing ice
cream...things like that." Or Camden Yards beer vendor Jerry
Collier acknowledging his celebrity: "My wife and I can't go
into a Baltimore restaurant without somebody saying, 'Hey, it's
the beer man.'"

Then there's umpire Durwood Merrill's theory of higher
mathematics: "Your body might only have 80 percent to give
today. But if you can give 100 percent of that 80 percent, then
you're...okay." Or this from New York Yankees outfielder
Bernie Williams's wife, Waleska, who counsels groupies: "If the
young women that have these fantasies about being with
ballplayers really knew what it was like being married to one,
they might not be so eager."

The serious stuff is pretty good, too, such as minor leaguer
Scott Jaster's explanation of what has kept him in the game:
"The thing of it, though, is that when you're on the field,
under the lights, and the crowd's energy is beating on your
back, it's magical out there.... That's what keeps you going,
when the magic outweighs the crap."

That just about says it all.

--Ron Fimrite

COLOR PHOTO: SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION PRESS [Cover of book In the Ballpark: The Working Lives of Baseball People]