Nude yoga, a best-selling fitness video, makes the perfect
stocking stuffer for the person with no stockings. According to
the Internet book-, music- and videoseller amazon.com, where the
tape is featured, customers who purchased Nude Yoga also bought
Nude Tai Chi, Nude Personal Training and--last chance to avert
your eyes--Nude Stretching. While Nude Pommel Horse is not yet
available, everything else in this column is, and just in time
for holiday gift-giving.
Take Fluff: Secrets to a Better Golf Score ($29.95), a video in
which Tiger Woods's caddie imparts every piece of wisdom he has
learned in a lifetime on the links. Get a nice balanced stance,
feet shoulder-width apart, head still...now pick up the bag and
Book lovers will delight in The Wisdom of Harvey Penick ($26),
the most recent in a long line of golf instructionals compiled
largely from notes found on napkins in the ball pouch of
Penick's practice bag. Remarkably prolific, Penick hasn't
curtailed his output a bit, not even after that little setback
three years ago, when he died of old age.
Who hasn't dreamed of having Macho Man Randy Savage on his or her
laptop? And we cannot stress strongly enough here that by laptop
we mean computer. With WCW Nitro ($29.95), intended especially
for portable computers, video gamers can travel with more than 60
professional wrestlers at any one time, narrowly breaking the old
record, set by Madonna.
If it's more traditional games you like, try Rules of the Game!
($29.95), a kind of Trivial Pursuit for referees and other rule
book wonks. With hundreds of questions on sports rules--lavish
attention is given to the infield fly, as well as "loose
impediments" in golf--this gift promises to put the "bored" back
in "board games."
On the recently released NFL Country CD ($16.97), country music
stars perform duets with professional football players, among
them San Diego Chargers quarterback Ryan Leaf, Indianapolis
Colts quarterback Peyton Manning and New York Giants defensive
end Michael Strahan. Not surprisingly, most of these men
couldn't carry a tune if you gave them a bucket...and the
professional football players, alas, aren't much better.
So if it's country music you like, try Runnin' Wide Open
($9.97), an officially licensed NASCAR disc with such lyrics as
"We scored an infield pass/And we all chipped in on gas." A
wonderful companion is the video Sports Bloopers Country Style
($12.95), which points out the endless variety, the epic
diversity--the sheer, staggering spectrum--of ways to get hit in
the nuts. To fiddle music.
What to get the fan who has everything? That's easy: nothing. The
trouble with nothing is, it ain't cheap. It's going to cost you.
But, oh, how his or her face will light up when he or she
receives...the NBA League Pass from DirecTV ($139).
Loaded down with books, videos, CDs and games of every
description, you'll want to settle in and enjoy them. But how?
The Green Bay Packers market a cheddar cheese-like stadium seat
cushion made from molded foam rubber ($5.99). Or is it a foam
rubber-like seat cushion made from molded cheddar cheese? Hard to
say, to judge by the smell.
No, what you want instead is an inflatable armchair. It's the
ideal gift for that someone special in your life, who--just a
guess--also happens to be inflatable.
COLOR PHOTO: DAN PICASSO [Drawing of Santa Claus riding in cart with golf club]