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Friday 8/13

Mets at Giants
WPIX 10:30 PM

In an archaeological scoop that could rock Cooperstown, Weekly
World News recently revealed that the ancient Egyptians invented
baseball 3,500 years before Abner Doubleday's birth. The pyramid
game, claimed the tabloid, was played by two six-man teams using
a ball fashioned out of tightly wrapped palm fronds. Outfielders
were equipped with small daggers, which they hurled at runners
who dared to round second and try to score. This modern-day
matchup of pennant contenders at 3Com Park would have been
tut-tutted back in May, when New York was losing slavishly, but
the Mets have dug themselves out of a deep hole since then. A
word of caution to Barry Bonds (right): If you round second,
watch your back.

HIGHLIGHTS

Saturday 8/7

Broncos vs. Chargers
FOX 9 PM

The kickoff to the NFL preseason--live from Stadium Australia in
Sydney--will be a battle of veteran backup quarterbacks. Having
lost its Elway, Denver will turn to perennial sub Bubby Brister,
who last started regularly with the Eagles in 1993. Taking his
place on the clipboard will be either Brian Griese or
concussion-prone journeyman Chris Miller. Taking snaps for San
Diego will be a couple of aging Bears castoffs, Erik Kramer (34)
and Jim Harbaugh (35); the Chargers' quarterback corps has been
defoliated by shoulder surgery to Ryan Leaf, who has fallen hard
since having been drafted No. 2 last year.

Dancesport Championship
A&E 9 PM

"They're sort of like drag queens," Australian director Baz
Luhrmann said of the sequined, cha-cha heeled creatures who
people the world's ballroom dancing circuit and his 1993 film,
Strictly Ballroom. "They put on these fab frocks and live out
their fantasies on the dance floor." The couples doing the
fantasizing in this unofficial Olympic warmup (yup, dancesport
will be a demonstration event at the Sydney Games) promise to
tango, fox-trot and quick-step in costumes of equal flamboyance.
Those interested in drag racing should channel surf to ESPN2,
which airs the NHRA Autolite Nationals at 10 p.m.

Sunday 8/8

Comets at Liberty
NBC 4 PM

The intriguing subplot for this WNBA showdown: How New York has
maintained its mental acuity despite having had a
Lobotomy--starting forward Rebecca Lobo tore knee ligaments 43
seconds into the season opener. (Before her operation, Lobo
scrawled instructions on her knees. On the right she wrote: NO
NO NO, WRONG KNEE. On the left: BE GENTLE.) Her fill-in, Sue
Wicks, has proved a competent complement to the Liberty's
sterling tableware tandem of point guard Teresa Weatherspoon and
shooting guard Sophia Witherspoon.

Monday 8/9

Yogi Berra
PBS 8 PM

If Yogi Berra didn't exist, they'd have to invent him. Well,
Berra exists, but "they" (sportswriters, publicists, Joe
Garagiola) invented most of his best malaprops. This hour-long
valentine begins with Berra touring his boyhood neighborhood in
St. Louis and ends with his recent return to Yankee Stadium
after a self-imposed 14-year exile. The riveting archival
footage more than makes up for the numbing narration: "He
embodies much of what is good about America." The same could be
said for Yogi Bear.

ALL TIMES EASTERN. SCHEDULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE. SOURCE:
NIELSEN SPORTS MARKETING SERVICE.

COLOR PHOTO: SCOTT CLARKE

THE RATING

2.3

National rating for the final stage of the Tour de France on
ABC, Lance-ing the rating for the network's broadcast of the
1998 Tour by 80%.

THE ZAPPER

You won't see Art Modell waving a rubber dawg bone during the
new Browns' preseason opener against the Cowboys in Canton, Ohio
(ABC, Monday, 8 p.m.). The owner of the old Browns hasn't been
considered a modell citizen in Cleveland since moving his team
to Baltimore in 1995. Modell says lingering resentment will also
keep him from the induction ceremony of former Browns receiver
Ozzie Newsome. Asked when he'll return to Cleveland, Mr. Raven
says, Nevermore!