From Tip-off To Sign-off The NBA's new round-the-clock channel has no shortage of programming possibilities

Next week the NBA will launch a TV channel, NBA.com TV, devoted
exclusively to the league--24 hours a day, seven days a week of
pro basketball programming, available in the 5.6 million homes
that have satellite-delivered DirecTV and the million that
receive (via cable) Viewer's Choice. "NBA.com TV," says
commissioner David Stern, "will offer our fans complete,
round-the-clock coverage." Here's how we envision the
programming lineup.

6 A.M.: Bust Spree TV Roundup of previous day's court cases
involving Latrell Sprewell. (2 hrs.)

8 A.M.: The Breakfast Club Shawn Kemp, Oliver Miller and Stanley
Roberts get to the bottom of a stack of pancakes. (90 mins.)

9:30 A.M.: The Daly Show Comedian Rip Taylor stars as
doppelganger Chuck Daly in this suitcom about a newly retired
coach coping with the loss of his six-figure clothing allowance.
(30 mins.)

10 A.M.: The Traveling Marburys On the road with members of
Stephon Marbury's extended family as they lay waste to the
league's complimentary pregame press-lounge buffets. (60 mins.)

11 A.M.: A.R. Surgeons perform an emergency Ahmadectomy on
Michael Jordan's left buttock. (60 mins.)

NOON: Crook & Chase A Georgia highway patrolman blurts the first
two words that come to mind when he sees new Hawks acquisition
Isaiah Rider driving. (60 mins.)

1 P.M.: All My Children? Soap opera set in the go-go world of
paternity law. (60 mins.)

2 P.M.: Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Not the superstar
contestants on this game show, who attempt to give their
salaries, in the form of manifold five-figure fines, to deputy
commissioner Russ Granik. (60 mins.)

3 P.M.: Afterschool Special: Don't Be a Fool! Harrowing
cautionary tale in which Kevin Garnett and Kobe Bryant warn kids:
Stay in school, or you'll end up like us! (2 hrs., 30 mins.)

5:30 P.M.: 48 Hours The last two minutes of an NBA game, as seen
through the lens of a time-lapse photographer. (90 mins.)

7 P.M.: The News with Brian Williams. Er, Bison Dele. No, Brian
Williams. Wait... Digest of the day's major events, anchored by
the omninamed former center for the Detroit Pistons. (30 mins.)

7:30 P.M.: Master P Theater When Bulls general manager Jerry
Krause (Jerry Lewis) tells rapper-agent Master P (Jaleel White)
that his client can't get a raise because the team has "cap
problems," Master P replies, "I'll give you cap problems," and
promptly busts a cap in Krause's tochis. (90 mins.)

9 P.M.: 20/20 Halftime scores from around the league. (60 mins.)

10 P.M.: Samaki Walker, Texas Ranger. Another NBA player tries
his hand at major league baseball, with predictable results. (2
hrs.)

MIDNIGHT: Two Guys, a Girl and a Minibar Highlights from the
personal camcorders of your favorite stars. (Adult themes.) (60
mins.)

1 A.M.: Touched by a Grizzly The league's least successful
groupie tells all. (60 mins.)

2 A.M.: The Sopranos Panel discussion with the sideline cameramen
whom Dennis Rodman has kicked in the crotch. (2 hrs.)

4 A.M.: Sign-off Marvin Gaye sings The Star-Spangled Banner (1
hour, 38 minutes).

5:38 A.M.: Test Pattern Closeup of sideline reporter Craig
Sager's blazer. (22 mins.)

COLOR ILLUSTRATION: DAN PICASSO