SI View The Week in TV Sports

Highlights

SATURDAY 3/11

Luge World Championships
ESPN2 11:30 AM Do lugers sleep on their stomachs or their backs?
(I'm in full luge position right now, if you must know.) Catch
the sledding--live!--from St. Moritz. If you watch only one luge
event this year....

SUNDAY 3/12

Spurs at Knicks
NBC 6 PM Andy is leaving Conan, Kathie Lee is parting with
Regis, Dave and Paul until recently were like two ships that
bypassed in the night, and the Donald broke ranks with Melania
(but only briefly; he's nobody's fool). It's a mean season for
New York power figures, which makes the harmony in Knicksville
all the more redoubtable. Call it Pax Ewing. This evening's
rematch of the 1999 NBA Finals features three of the game's top
post players: Ewing and San Antonio's Twin Towers, Tim Duncan
and David Robinson.

WEDNESDAY 3/15

Fiorentina at Manchester United
ESPN2 2:30 PM Manchester United midfielder David Beckham has
earned a club-high four yellow cards during United's defense of
its Union des Associations Europeennes de Football (UEFA) Cup
Champions League title. His transgressions include kicking,
shoving and (most heinous!) too closely resembling the lead
singer of the Goo Goo Dolls. Marriage to Victoria Adams, better
known as Posh Spice, clearly has not tamed him. Fiorentina beat
Manchester 2-0 in the Group B Phase 2 opener in Florence on Nov.
23.

ALL TIMES EASTERN. SCHEDULES ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE.

COLOR PHOTO: JOHN W. MCDONOUGH

the zapper

On Feb. 29, SportsCenter's poll asked, "Who has brought the most
negative attention to his sport?" Candidates were NFLers Rae
Carruth and Ray Lewis (alleged murderers), pitcher John Rocker
(page 40)--and golfer Notah Begay (page 100), who drove drunk in
a parking lot. Carruth won (33.5% of the vote). Begay's 0.6% was
about three times his Breathalyzer test score.... For those who
worry they'll be unsated by March Madness, there's ESPN
Classic's 23-hour marathon (beginning on Sunday at 7 p.m.) of a
dozen vintage tournament games.... Why, in KFC's new ads, does
the animated Colonel say, "Boo-yah!"--and is Stuart Scott
earning residuals?

Don't Miss

MARCH MADNESS

SUNDAY 3/12
--SEC and Big Ten Tournament Finals CBS NOON
--ACC and Big 12 Tournament Finals ESPN 1 PM
--NCAA Tournament Selection Show CBS 6:30 PM

THURSDAY 3/16
--NCAA Tournament First Round CBS Noon; 7:30 PM

FRIDAY 3/17
--NCAA Tournament First Round CBS Noon; 7:30 PM

Psssst! We just intercepted a FedEx envelope containing the
first 48 episodes of the riveting 63-part season finale of Hoops
Malone. Things go awry when Hoops's daughter, Cinderella, passes
mononucleosis to a certain freshman at Duke, who confesses to
his coach that he contracted it from an ESPN personality.
"Digger?" asks Coach K. "Dig her?" the kid replies. "I hardly
know her!" A contrite Hoops suggests taking St. John's Wort as a
remedy but is rebuffed by Coach K. "I don't know this Wort kid,"
K says, "but he'd still have to sit out a year, and where does
that leave me now?" Wackiness ensues, especially when Cinderella
must find another date for the Big Dance. Various prime-time
players--Cincinnati's Kenyon Martin (above, left), Stanford's
Mark Madsen, Michigan State's Mateen Cleaves, Temple's Pepe
Sanchez, LSU's Stromile Swift, Iowa State's Marcus Fizer,
Syracuse's Etan Thomas and Vanderbilt's Dan Langhi among
them--vie for her hand, but she insists on taking a
small-conference Prince Charming. Cinderella and her prince
advance to the Sweet 16 party.