Noms de Tube

ESPN's Dan Patrick isn't who you think he is. Neither is CNN/SI's
Nick Charles. Nor Fox's Dick Stockton. Ditto Marv Albert and
Hannah Storm. Like SAG members or participants in the FBI's
witness relocation program, all the above-named sportscasters
have changed their surnames.

Patrick is actually Daniel Patrick Pugh. Early in his career,
when he was working at CNN, a producer there prevailed upon him
to make his middle name his surname. In 1989, when Pugh left CNN
for ESPN, he found himself in the staff telephone directory
between studio host Bill Patrick and play-by-play man Mike
Patrick. The network's Patrick hat trick prompted one producer to
command, "That's it, no more Patricks!"

Except there were no real ones. Bill (now with USA Network and
Speedvision) is actually Gerard Monteux, and Mike was born Mike
Carduff. "Carduff was my father's name," say Mike, "but my mother
remarried, and until 13 years ago I legally used my stepfather's
last name, which is Frankhouser."

What about Marvin Aufrichtig? As an adolescent, Marvin persuaded
his father, Max, to change the family name to (yesss!) Albert.
Thus we lost an entire clan of sportscasting Aufrichtigs--Marv,
brothers Al and Steve, and son Kenny. A similar modification has
affected the Carabinas, Harry, Skip and Chip, whom we know as the
Carays.

What in the name of John Buccigross is going on here? Nick
Charles was born Nick Nickeas. Stockton's birth certificate reads
Stokvis. "Dick had a boss in Pittsburgh who urged him to change
his name," says Stockton's wife, CBS's Lesley Visser, who adds,
"Visser is my real last name, although if you've read the papers
lately, you'd think it's 'Visser comma 46.'" NBC's Hannah Storm
eighty-sixed her real last name, Storen, when her first employer,
a heavy-metal-oriented radio station in Corpus Christi, asked her
to host a show titled Storm by the Sea.

Why do so many broadcast sports journalists charged with
imparting accurate information mislead viewers on the most
fundamental aspect of themselves? "I guess they want a name with
a snappier sound," says NBC's Bob Costas (his real name). "One
that rolls off the tongue with ease."

Given all the name dropping, let's salute ESPN's Betsy Ross, who
uses her real name on air. "I did consider changing it at the
outset of my career," she says. "My producer said, 'Are you
kidding? Who's ever going to forget a name like that?'" So,
Betsy Ross is Betsy Ross. What a revolutionary concept.

--J.W.

COLOR PHOTO: CNNSI So what are the real monikers of Charles (above), Storm (right) and Dan Patrick?

COLOR PHOTO: NBC PHOTO: ANDY HAYT [See caption above]

COLOR PHOTO: ESPN [See caption above]

RINGS THINGS
A tape trove, and a site that calculates medals per capita

Sekani, a media services company, is taking the concept of
"Olympics on tape delay" to the ultimate. Seventeen days after
the end of the Games, Sekani, in partnership with NBC, will
release 16 videotapes of highlights, each from 60 to 80 minutes
in duration. The objective is to provide hard-core Olympic fans
with an in-depth look at the Games, especially at fringe sports.
There will be sport-specific tapes, using digital footage from
NBC cameras, on archery, boxing, cycling, equestrian, gymnastics,
soccer, softball, swimming and diving, taekwondo, track and
field, triathlon, volleyball, weightlifting and wrestling. Sekani
will also release a video highlighting women's sports as well as
an Olympics commemorative cassette. Each tape will sell for
$19.95; the set will cost $299. Log on to nbctapes.com or phone
1-888-458-FLAG for details.

Think you're seeing too many athletes from major nations
ascending the medals stand? Log on to medaltally.com. This
six-language site uses a simple formula--a nation's total medal
tally times one million divided by the nation's population--to
arrive at a medals-per-million figure, which medaltally.com
asserts is "a much fairer way of interpreting the results." If
that's true, the Olympic juggernaut of the last quarter century
has been New Zealand, which has a population of 3,621,200. The
Kiwis (who boycotted the 1980 Moscow Games) have finished among
the top three in medals-per-million three times ('84, '88 and
'92) and in the top 10 twice ('76, '96).

--J.W.