They were neither the best of tee times nor the worst of tee
times. This season was simply Tiger Woods's time. Golf isn't the
new national pastime, Tiger is, and his 2000 season--10 victories
worldwide, three majors in a row, the career Grand Slam and more
than $9 million in earnings--ranks among the greatest in golf
Here are some things worth a second look in the year of all
Tiger, all the time.
1. Which player's breakthrough win was the most significant?
A. Jim Carter's at the Tucson Open, his first in 291 Tour starts.
B. Lorie Kane's in the Michelob Light Classic, after she had
closed to within one of Laura Baugh's LPGA record for most
seconds (10) without a win.
C. Kirk Triplett's at the Nissan Open, his only W in 11 years on
2. Which blowout was the most spectacular?
A. Karrie Webb's 10-shot win in the Nabisco Championship.
B. Woods's 15-stroke rout in the U.S. Open.
C. Andre Agassi's destruction of Woods on MTV's Celebrity Death
3. Which one of the items on David Letterman's Top 10 list of
Woods's pet peeves hit closest to home?
A. Always feel like a dork standing in bank line with six-foot
B. Satan calls at all hours of the night to remind you of the
C. When buying personalized license plates at Disneyland,
closest you can get is timmy.
4. Which selection was most baffling?
A. Playboy's picking Phil Mickelson as one of its 10 men of
style, along with Pierce Brosnan and Sean (Puffy) Combs.
B. Wine Spectator's ranking Greg Norman's 1996 Coonawarra
cabernet-merlot 58th on its 1999 Top 100 list.
C. Matt Damon's being chosen to play a golfer in The Legend of
5. Which development was most meaningful for Casey Martin?
A. The Tour's appeal of his case to the Supreme Court.
B. His failure to regain his Tour card at Q School.
C. His selection by People magazine as the ninth most eligible
6. Which score was most astounding?
A. Shigeki Maruyama's 58 in U.S. Open qualifying.
B. David Gossett's 59 (highlighted by his first hole in one) at
C. Woods's first-round 75 in the Masters.
7. What was Woods's best sound bite?
A. "I broke 80, so that was good," a frequent opening remark at
B. "The best year of my life was when I was 11. I got straight
A's, had two recesses a day, had the cutest girlfriend and won
32 tournaments. Everything's been downhill since."
C. "F---!" The word he shouted after pulling his tee shot on 18
into the ocean in the second round of the U.S. Open.
8. Which act was most appreciated?
A. When April 24-28 was designated Take Your Daughter to the
B. When the sponsor of the Electrolux USA Championship gave all
144 LPGA players in the field a free vacuum.
C. When Palm Beach (Fla.) National Bank added a drive-up window
for golf carts.
Answers: 1-C. Triplett overcame Jesper Parnevik's pink pants as
well as a female flasher during the final round at Riviera, then
went on to star in the Presidents Cup and finish 11th on the
money list with more than $2 million.
2-B. A Celebrity Death Match between Deane Beman and Tim Finchem
might be fun, but the answer is Woods's win at Pebble, where he
made the world's best players look like chumps.
3-B. What we don't know: Does Satan work for IMG, or is it vice
4-C. Damon's feeble swing makes Kevin (Tin Cup) Costner's look
5-C. It was Casey's only Top 10 finish this year.
6-C. If Tiger shoots 70, he starts the final round at Augusta a
shot behind Vijay Singh and could have won the Grand Slam.
7-C. We go for sincerity.
8-A. Take Your Daughter to the Course Week overlapped with Take
Your Daughter to Work Day, which golfers interpreted as Take Your
Daughter to Work, Leave Early Without Telling the Boss and Sneak
Off to the Golf Course Day.
TWO COLOR ILLUSTRATIONS: ILLUSTRATIONS BY TIM GABOR
Hey, Mulligan Man!
Some people and organizations could have used a second chance in
Padraig Harrington was disqualified 30 minutes before he teed off
with a five-shot lead in the final round of the Benson and Hedges
International in Sutton Coldfield, England, after officials
discovered he hadn't signed his first-round scorecard. The error
came to light when the host hotel asked to frame the potential
CBS golf commentator Peter Kostis offered condolences the week
after Tour rookie Matt Gogel was nipped by Tiger Woods at the
AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am. "Kostis says, 'Matt, you
played great, you're not the first guy to get beat by Tiger.' He
gave me a five-minute spiel. It was such a nice talk, I didn't
have the heart to tell him he had the wrong guy," said Matt
Goggin, a Tour rookie often mistaken for Gogel.
Annika Sorenstam, playing out of turn, chipped in during a match
at the Solheim Cup, then broke into tears when her U.S. opponents
invoked the Rules of Golf and forced her to replay the shot. The
Americans won the match but lost the Cup.
Senior tour player Dale Douglass received a lifetime achievement
award before the Colorado Open, then was disqualified in the
first round for wearing metal spikes.
Tour caddie Max Cunningham was advised by his doctor to skip the
PGA in steamy Louisville because of high blood pressure. His bag?
Bob May, who lost to Woods in a playoff and pocketed $540,000. "I
felt gutted watching it on TV," Cunningham said.
CBS officials admitted they had added the sound of birds chirping
during golf telecasts after sharp-eared birdwatchers detected the
song of a canyon wren, a bird not found east of Texas, during the
telecast of the Buick Open in Grand Blanc, Mich.
Greg Norman pulled out of the Memorial when rain pushed the final
round to Monday. Woods had a six-shot lead, Norman was 50th, and
he had a round scheduled with Florida governor Jeb Bush on
Monday. Governor Bush heard about the delayed finish, figured
Norman would be busy in Ohio and--oops!--didn't show up for their
AN ASSORTMENT OF FUN FIGURES FROM 2000
$65 million Lotto jackpot won by 26 employees of Bent Pine Golf
Club, in Vero Beach, Fla., including a secretary, a valet and an
$54 million Tiger Woods's estimated annual income from
$12.8 million Woods's career earnings after the Buick
Invitational in February, when he passed Davis Love III to
become golf's alltime leading money winner.
$2.1 million British billionaire Joe Lewis's winning bid for a
round with Woods in a charity auction.
$500,000 Cost of a second pedestrian walkway over the
Pennsylvania Turnpike at Oakmont Country Club, an improvement
that could bring another U.S. Open to the club.
$400,000 Amount raised for the Democratic National Party at an
outing at Riviera Country Club before the Democratic Convention,
including a $100,000 donation made by Andersen Consulting so
that two of its execs could play in the same group as California
governor Gray Davis.
$100,000 Woods's fine, imposed by the striking Screen Actors
Guild, for filming a Buick commercial.
$92,500 Winnings of 39-year-old Buy.com tour player Ahmad
Bateman during his appearance on the game show Winning Lines.
$50,000 Amount Woods actually paid the Screen Actors Guild on the
condition that he not cross the picket line again.
$35,970 Fine levied by the German Football Federation on SC
Freiburg after one of its fans beaned an opposing player with a
$25,000 Initiation fee at Bent Pine.
$8,000 Entry fee at the National Car Rental Classic pro-am for
Dave Bennett, an 11-handicapper from Columbus, Ohio, who was
subsequently picked in a random drawing to play with Tiger Woods.
$60 Fee Malaysian Open officials were going to pay a bomoh
(medicine man) for keeping the rain away--until a 90-minute
downpour halted play during the third round.
Been There, Said That
Match the quote with the person who said it.
1. "What do I have to shoot this week to win? Tiger Woods."
2. "Have I seen Tin Cup? I think I wrote the script."
3. "I'm obsessed with something I stink at."
4. "Guys bitch about everything out here. They even bitch about
the ice cream."
5. "I would love to be cloned. One of me can play golf, the
other can take care of the kids and my wife, and the third can
do some acting. Perfect!"
6. "I can't believe how much the world has changed. The best
rapper in the world is white, and the best golfer in the world
7. "If it wasn't for the American tour, the Europeans would be
packing groceries somewhere."
8. "I never worry about crowd control--unless my ex-wives are
9. "Where's Tonya Harding when you need her?"
10. "I'm playing as well as I've ever played--except for the years
I played better."
A. Arnold Schwarzenegger
B. Jean Van de Velde
C. Fred Couples
D. John Daly
E. Charles Barkley
F. Stuart Appleby
G. Ray Romano
H. Ed Dougherty
I. Scott Hoch
J. Dottie Pepper
Answers: 1-F; 2-B; 3-G; 4-H; 5-A; 6-E; 7-J; 8-D; 9-I; 10-C.