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Original Issue

NBA's To-Do List Helpful Hints on Ways to Improve the Game

1. Call it the old-fashioned way. Too often referees whistle the
triggerman for a charge on the fast break, or a hustling big man
for going over the top on the offensive boards, or a player for
setting a screen 25 feet from the hoop. "If they interpreted the
rules the way they used to [in the 1980s]," says Hornets G.M. Bob
Bass, "each team might pick up close to 20 points a game."
Odds it will be done: even money

2. Punish owners for their sins. When the Timberwolves violate
salary-cap rules by signing Joe Smith under the table, fine the
hell out of their front office but don't take it out on their
supporters by docking the team four future first-round draft
picks. That would be only one way to avoid constantly reminding
fans that this is a billion-dollar business run by lawyers and
Odds it will be done: 2 to 1

3. Recast the All-Star Game. Want to see both teams take pride
in winning while entertaining the fans? Make it the Thirties
(players 30 and older) versus the Twenties (those 29 and
younger). This will instantly become the most talked-about
midseason diversion in any sport.
Odds it will be done: 200 to 1

4. Make Donald Sterling an offer he can't refuse. If the
Clippers' penurious owner were persuaded to sell, the team's
rivalry with the Lakers could blossom into a modern-day Dodgers
versus Yankees. With no NFL team in Los Angeles, the NBA could
take control of the nation's entertainment capital.
Odds it will be done: 1,000 to 1

5. Move the coaches to the cheap seats. Let coaches be in charge
at practices, before the game and during halftime. When play
begins, move them upstairs, leaving captains to run the team
during timeouts. Give the players real responsibility and they
might even behave more responsibly.
Odds it will be done: 100,000 to 1

--Ian Thomsen