The Show

(Taptaptap) Is this thing on?

(Taptaptap) Is ABC Family still on?

THERE IS A TOMORROWLAND How about that bottom of the seventh? The
only Angel who didn't score was Kate Jackson.

Fox went a little nuts with the stats. I saw one graphic in the
ninth: "Angels have gone to World Series every year Bo Belinsky
has died."

You think those ThunderStix are annoying now, wait till the
audio-animatronic kids on the It's a Small World ride get hold of
them.

The playoffs are a great national showcase. The Fox Virtual
Manager just had his second interview for the Brewers' job.

Fans can pay to see batting practice during the LCS on MLB.com.
And for an extra $4.95 Kenny Lofton will threaten the BP pitcher.

The decibel level in the Metrodome hit 107. But it hit only 105
against lefthanders with runners in scoring position.

Elsewhere, Tampa Bay infielder Russ Johnson, a born-again
Christian, is still trying to get the team to take Devil out of
its nickname. Not only that, he'd like the Rays to replace Hal
McRae with Barabbas.

SERGIO GARCIA SIGNS WITH TAYLORMADE CLUBS FOR $7 MILLION A YEAR
It sounds like a lot, but that works out to eight cents a waggle.

And Phil Mickelson signed a multimillion deal with Ford. Is that
what he meant when he said he had to work on his drive?

And I guess this isn't a surprise. Martha Burk filed another
lawsuit. She won't rest until there's a female member in Hootie
and the Blowfish.

KNICKS HAND SPREWELL LARGEST FINE IN NBA HISTORY Great. Now Mark
Cuban's jealous.

According to a recent CBS SportsLine e-mail survey, Michael
Jordan is the most influential person in the NBA. Where's the
SpamGuard when you really need it?

Jordan finished with 62 points, edging out Shaquille O'Neal's
podiatrist.

A MISS AND ANDY In an interview with Boomer Esiason, Rooney said
female reporters have no business being on the sidelines. The
next day he received 200 angry e-mails--and a dozen roses from
Zeke Mowatt.

Last week Marshall Faulk walked off in the middle of an interview
with Bob Costas. He found out Mike Martz had scripted only five
of the first 20 questions for him.

Jaguars linebacker T.J. Slaughter is back after a four-game ban
for steroid use. During the ban he lost 10 pounds and three
biceps.

NHL MAKES RULES CHANGES TO TRY TO SPEED UP PLAY What does that
mean? They've added express checking?

Many people are saying this could be the year for the Sharks. And
even more people are saying, "Wait a minute. The NHL has a team
in San Jose?"

Toronto coach Pat Quinn dropped 55 pounds over the summer. He put
in a neutral zone trap in front of his refrigerator.

INDIANA PRESIDENT MYLES BRAND NAMED PRESIDENT OF NCAA His first
order of business: transfer the Texas Tech campus to Baghdad.

NEW YORK CITY HOLDS FAKE TICKER TAPE PARADE TO ATTRACT THE 2012
OLYMPICS And they lit an imaginary torch from the fake fireplace
NBC used in Salt Lake City.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Scandal.

COLOR ILLUSTRATION: ILLUSTRATION BY JEFF WONG