When Annika Sorenstam coyly suggested last week that she'd be
interested in competing against the boys, she set off a frenzy
among PGA Tour tournament directors, who began wooing her as if
she were the Bachelorette. Watching this spectacle, I realized
how I might jump-start my own shaky career. I have been grinding
away in obscurity on the Nationwide tour for the last seven
years, dreaming of my 15 minutes of fame. Apparently, I should
have set loftier goals than finishing in the top 15 on the
Nationwide money list. It's time for me to promote gender equity
in golf. So, I hereby announce my intention to become the first
man to play on the LPGA tour. Let the bidding begin!
The LPGA has a bylaw banning men, but I'm sure the tour will
change its mind. (If not, I know I can count on Martha Burk to
take up my cause, since she's so concerned about equal access.)
Look at all the attention that Sorenstam's publicity stunt has
generated. Imagine the fuss when I show up for my first LPGA
event, flashing hairy legs and knobby knees from under my
My journey to the LPGA will make for irresistible drama. No
offense, but no one expects Sorenstam to contend, much less win,
on the PGA Tour. But if I don't obliterate the LPGA field on my
first try, I'll never be able to show my face at another golf
course. After all, playing from the women's tees, I should birdie
every par-4 and reach every par-5 in two.
The idea of becoming a pioneer for male journeymen everywhere is
alluring, and so is the chance to make a decent living. The
LPGA's purses are more than double what's offered on the
Nationwide, and crashing through my own personal glass ceiling
should get me tons of endorsement money. I know a vast majority
of PGA Tour players are opposed to women being allowed to play on
their circuit, but they're being close-minded. They need to
understand what an opportunity the LPGA offers. Who needs the
Senior tour when you can get rich playing against women?
Vic Wilk, 42, finished 73rd on the Nationwide tour money list
last year, with $59,472. He won the 1994 Knoxville Open.
COLOR PHOTO: CLINT KARLSEN SEEING RED Wilk, a mini-tour grinder, would love to play from theladies' tees.