Soccer Mom, Meet NASCAR Dad

TO: Stephanie Smythe-Klein, Programming Director, Lifetime
Biff Clancy, Programming Director, ESPN
RE: Soccer Moms/NASCAR Dads

As both of you know, the 2004 election "buzz" is all about that
coveted demographic political strategists call NASCAR Dads--as
sure as the last election was focused on winning the hearts and
minds of Soccer Moms. This not only provides a unique opportunity
for a "now" sitcom, but also one that could be run on both of
your networks. It could even be listed under different names to
attract your different audiences: Soccer Mom for your gal
viewers, Steph; NASCAR Dad for your guys' eyeballs, Biff. In
either case, it's a perfect way to get "down," using sports in a
broad context that will bring lotsa laughs and, yes, some deep
thoughts about our modern society, too, as these two (supposedly)
opposite American types come together. It's The Brady Bunch meets
The Odd Couple. Or, for our "oldsters" out there, an updated
sports version of Abie's Irish Rose.

SUGGESTED LEADS: Gwyneth Paltrow and John Goodman

FALLBACK CASTING: Kelly Ripa and Howie Long

BACK STORY: Both Kimberly, our Soccer Mom, and Dusty, our NASCAR
Dad, have lost their spouses. (We'll handle this tastefully with
flashbacks in the first episode.) Kimberly's late husband was
beaten to death by angry college wrestlers at a pro-Title IX
rally, while Dusty's better half was, tragically, mistaken for a
target at an NRA gun fair. The grieving widow and widower meet at
that one place in American society where all our different types
come together: a Dead concert. There, under a large photo of
Jerry Garcia, as Bob Weir and Phil Lesh play Ripple, Kimberly and
Dusty--wearing identical tie-dyes--spot each other and fall in
love. Can a Soccer Mom and NASCAR Dad really make a "go" of it?
As they say: "Stay tuned!"

Both Kimberly and Dusty have adorable 13-year-old daughters,
Sarah and Brittany, respectively, and two mischievous (but also
adorable) 11-year-old sons, Michael and DJ (for Dusty Junior).
Imagine the "high jinks" when Kimberly and Dusty marry and the
children have to get along as the new All-American family settles
into their suburban home somewhere in mid-America.

SAMPLE EPISODES:

--Dusty takes Kimberly to her first NASCAR race. She is disturbed
when fans scream, "Show us your t---!" but later Kimberly meets a
brain surgeon, a nuclear physicist and a ballet dancer, all of
whom are devoted NASCAR fans. This gets Kimberly thinking. Back
home, Dusty goes to an office bachelor party. The next day, when
Kimberly makes him go to Sarah's soccer game, guess who he sees
there? Yes--one of the lap dancers from the party! She is a
Soccer Mom, too. In the final scene Kimberly and Dusty talk to
the children about these revelations, illustrating how we should
not stereotype sports, that in America fans come from "all walks
of life."

--Kimberly is thrilled that Dusty, Michael and DJ all agree to go
see the women's tennis tournament when it comes to town. She gets
furious, though, when she discovers that the males in the family
only wanted to see Anna Kournikova. Kimberly's ire turns to
chagrin, however, when she finds a Chippendales' calendar hidden
in the girls' room. Everybody in the family enjoys a big laugh.

--Kimberly and Dusty have a "spat" because she does not want him
to give up a teacher-parent meeting for his Fantasy NASCAR Draft
Nite. Then, Dusty "loses it" when Kimberly suggests that DJ is
really not built for football but has such grace and balance that
he should try figure skating.

--At a charity auction Kimberly and Dusty bid highest to get
(guest stars) Jeff Gordon and David Beckham to come to their
house for dinner. What a surprise when Sarah gets a crush on Jeff
while Brittany "goes bananas" for David.

Wrapping Up: Steph and Biff, it's obvious that NASCAR Dads are
going to be the "in" group for the coming election year, while
Soccer Moms haven't lost any of their "pull." A chance to make a
sitcom out of them is too good to pass up. Let's get our heads
around this and "blue-sky" some. Surely Soccer Mom/NASCAR Dad is
spelled Kan'tmiss with a Capital K for 2004!

COLOR ILLUSTRATION: ILLUSTRATION BY STEVE BRODNER

"Parry entered the game, wearing his three-pound, carbon-graphite prosthesis."
--A GIANT STEP,PAGE 28