Prenuptials

After forging a historic tie at the Presidents Cup, Tiger Woods
proposed to his girlfriend, Elin Nordegren, a former nanny for
Jesper Parnevik's family, while on safari in South Africa. Since
his IMG agent, Mark Steinberg, micromanages Tiger's image, he
might be the best choice for a wedding planner as well. If so,
their correspondence might look something like this.

TO: Steiny
FROM: T
RE: Early wedding thoughts

We don't even have a date yet, but people are already calling our
nuptials the social event of the century on the PGA Tour. E and I
want to keep it small, and since you're so good at keeping people
away from me, I need your thoughts on restricting the guest list.
Should we invite only major champions? Would it be better to use
the career money list from the Target World Challenge? Thoughts?

I already know who's not going to be invited: Adrian Gardiner of
the Shamwari Game Reserve; Vijay; Finchem; Fluff; my ex agent,
Hughes Norton; that guy who wrote the GQ story on me--Charles
Pierce--and Ed Fiori, the shrimp who beat me. We also need a
flower girl; do you think it's O.K. to ask Sophia Mickelson but
not invite her dad?

About the bachelor party in Vegas, please call Tommy Armour III
for recommendations.

For the groomsmen's gifts, there are always those Nike drivers in
my attic. I won't need them.

Best man is a sticky situation. Can't do Pops because the toast
would last forever. I'm thinking Stevie, but ever since he talked
me into hitting driver on the 3rd hole on Sunday at the Masters,
I've been giving him a wide berth. What do you think of Bryon
Bell? He's good at filling in for caddies. Or is Jack more
appropriate?

We're debating honeymoon destinations--are there any Caribbean
tournaments with appearance fees?

Got your long e-mail on the prenup. Only one question: In the
event of divorce do you still get 15% of E's share?

As always, we want full control of the press coverage. Wedding
photos will appear only on tigerwoods.com and in Golf Digest. But
tell the boys at Digest that an instructional spread on the
garter toss is a little over the top.

COLOR PHOTO: CHRIS COLLINS/CORBIS (RINGS)