Sports Beat

As a member of the Green Party, German parliament member
Margareta Wolf is no stranger to campaigning for au naturel
causes. So after she and fellow MP Evelin Schoenhut-Keil saw
Portuguese midfielder Cristiano Ronaldo receive a yellow card for
removing his shirt following a goal in a Euro 2004 game, they
introduced a motion in parliament urging the country's soccer
association to lobby FIFA to rescind its rule mandating a booking
for players who go shirtless to celebrate. "We can't understand
how the voluntary showing of a gorgeous male chest can be
objectionable," Schoenhut-Keil said. The motion has been tabled.

--High jumper Amy Acuff, who competed in fur-trimmed and sequined
track outfits, is now making news for a complete lack of clothes.
Acuff (left), 29, posed nude for the September issue of Playboy,
as did Canadian 1,500-meter runner Katie Vermeulen. While
Vermeulen tripped during her trials and won't be going to Athens,
Acuff secured her third Olympic berth by clearing 6'4" in last
week's U.S. trials. "It's not about boobs and butts," said
Vermeulen of the upcoming issue. "It's about strength and beauty
and women who are posing to represent their strength and courage
in their sport."

--It's an age-old question: Would you rather have a free car or be
cremated gratis? Will Campbell, 19, a fan of the Class A Brevard
County (Fla.) Manatees, found himself facing that very conundrum
last Thursday. Campbell was competing in the Manatees' Car
Survivor contest--trying to win a 1995 Geo Metro by outlasting
four other contestants crammed into the vehicle--when his name
was called during a between-the-innings raffle sponsored by a
local funeral home. Campbell first thought it was a ruse designed
by one of his opponents to lure him from the car. When he was
assured it wasn't, Campbell disinterred himself from the vehicle
in which he'd spent three days and claimed a certificate
entitling him to one free cremation. "I may not be able to use
what I won for 70 years," says Campbell, who will be a freshman
at Elon College this fall, "but at least I didn't leave
empty-handed."

--Before he became a sitcom star, Bill Cosby worked cheap. In 1972
he signed a lifetime contract with the Harlem Globetrotters for
one dollar (they gave him a five-cent raise in 1986) and made
several appearances with the team. To recognize his work, the
Basketball Hall of Fame on July 8 unveiled an exhibit re-creating
his Globetrotters locker, complete with his number 66 jersey....
Even if Oakland doesn't make it to the NFL's big game next
February, Warren Sapp will still figure prominently on Super Bowl
Sunday. He will be part of an all-star guest cast on the episode
of The Simpsons that will follow the game. LeBron James and Yao
Ming will join the new Raider, who says he learned a lot doing
the show: "Did you know a girl does Milhouse's voice? That blew
my mind, man." ... Looks like Ben Affleck turned down Glory Road
for the road to the White House. Affleck was slated to play Don
Haskins, the Texas Western basketball coach who won the national
championship with five African-American starters in 1966. But
Affleck reportedly backed out of the film because he plans to
stump for his home state's junior senator, John Kerry, until
November.

COLOR PHOTO: GERO BRELOER/EPA/SIPA (CYCLISTS) PICTURE THIS No, Tour de France drug testers aren't hiding behind those bushes. Several members of the peloton--or should it be peeloton?--pulled over for a very public pit stop during the 124-mile stage 5 ride from Amiens to Chartres. And you wondered how the French countryside got so green.

COLOR PHOTO: PAUL BATTAGLIA/AP (GRAFFANINO)

COLOR PHOTO: JIM WRIGHT (ACUFF)

THIS WEEK'S SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE
A male Air Force cheerleader is being court-martialed for
allegedly using steroids.

THEY SAID IT TONY GRAFFANINO
Kansas City second baseman, on the last-place Royals' performance
this season: "I've never been on a team where everybody stinks."