Fantasy Fanatic
Dedicated fantasy football players watch games all Sunday afternoon, watch highlights of those games Sunday night, lose an hour of work cross-referencing box scores Monday morning and are glued to the fourth quarter of Packers 48, Cardinals 17 on Monday Night Football. Then there are people like you, who really care. Herewith are 25 signs that you may be a fantasy football fanatic.
1. You're the commissioner.
2. The league's website is your home page.
3. You've pored over eight fantasy football magazines in three days but can't remember the last book you've read.
4. "Hold on, honey, the Cardinals have the ball."
5. You and your "research materials" take up three seats at the draft.
6. You've memorized each team's bye week.
7. You yell an expletive when the team choosing just before you in the eighth round selects Thomas Jones.
8. You set your lineup on Tuesday.
9. You reset it Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.
10. You, a lifelong Packers fan, are rooting for Daunte Culpepper to throw a touchdown pass against Green Bay.
11. "I can still win if I get 150 yards and three TDs from Jay Riemersma."
12. You know the difference between John Kasay and John Carney.
13. Two words: trash talk.
14. Three words: year-end banquet.
15. You cut a deal with your wife to allow you to keep playing.
16. Last year's draft was held in a hotel conference room.
17. You've e-mailed customer service to demand that the live scoring work immediately!
18. Your boss compliments you on your work from January to August.
19. You've actually told an NFL player that he's on your fantasy team.
20. Your best friends are hailmary01, deeppost78 and RAMFANN, though you've never met them.
21. "Who should I start? Seth Marler vs. Pittsburgh or Billy Cundiff vs. Seattle?"
22. You've called an NFL team to get injury information.
23. Your wife has left you.
24. You can't sleep when Jamel White rushes for 100 yards and two TDs--and you had him on your bench.
25. You've read this far.
Gene Menez is an SI reporter and--you guessed it--commissioner of SIFA (Sports Illustrated Football Association).