SPORTS BEAT

‚ñ†Destiny's Child may be bootylicious, but the NFL is going to great lengths to make that a mootylicious point when Beyoncé (below) and the gals perform at the league's kickoff concert at Gillette Stadium on Sept. 9. "We'll control all facets of their performance, including song selection, choreography and, yes, wardrobe selection," said league spokesman Brian McCarthy. Among the other acts--McCarthy describes them as "popular but safe choices"-- singing before the Patriots-Colts game are Elton John, Toby Keith and Lenny Kravitz. (Jessica Simpson will perform via satellite from Jacksonville.) The show is being produced by the company that handled last month's Democratic National Convention, so think balloons, not bazooms.

■If only truth was half as good as fiction. In King James, a new DC Comic book, LeBron James is crowned King of Basketball after dominating an underground tournament run by a "mysterious, secret organization." (Alas, James has been having less luck in Athens in a tournament run by another mysterious, secret organization: the IOC.) The comic was released in conjunction with the launch of Flava23, a sour-berry Powerade drink that James, 19, helped create.

■The cradle may rock, but Camden Yards won't. The Orioles backed out of an agreement that would have had Van Halen playing a concert at the stadium on Sept. 2. (The O's are in Tampa that night.) Not ones to slink away in their spandex, Eddie and the boys filed a breach-of-contract lawsuit against the team. The suit, which asks for at least $2 million, contends that Van Halen "had to change the dates of other scheduled concerts and forgo other concert opportunities in order to accommodate the Oriole Park concert." The Orioles have not commented on the reason for canceling the first major concert at Camden Yards. The team won a legal battle with the Maryland Stadium Authority three years ago for the right to book bands there as a means of bolstering stadium revenue.

■Here's an Olympic record that the ancient Greeks never imagined. Last week real estate agent Terrye Jackson of Springdale, Md., set a world record for the longest continuous television-watching session by taking in 50 hours and seven minutes of NBC's Games coverage. Jackson, 42, was allowed a 15-minute bathroom break every eight hours. "It wasn't really that hard," she said. "When they told me I beat the world record, I was watching gymnastics. I wanted to finish watching it."

■If he's learned nothing else in his first NFL training camp, Raiders rookie defensive end Andre Sommersell has learned the value of keeping his mouth shut. The former Colorado State defensive end, who as the last overall pick in the 2004 draft earned the right to be called Mr. Irrelevant, made it known in camp that he wasn't going to put up with any rookie initiations. Bad move. On Aug. 17, following practice, his teammates taped him to a goalpost, doused him with water and coated him with talcum powder and abandoned him. Sommersell finally freed himself after 15 minutes. Said second-year tight end Teyo Johnson, "You've got to accept your fate sometimes."

THIS WEEK'S SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Photos of Juan Marichal purposely hitting Johnny Roseboro on the head with a bat in 1965, autographed by both men, are selling on the Internet for $449.

THEY SAID IT

PETER KOSTIS

CBS analyst, after an errant drive by Tiger Woods (left) at the NEC Invitational on Sunday: "This is so far right, Michael Moore is going to do a documentary on him."

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TARA CANOVA/RETNA LTC. (BEYONCé)

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BILL FRAKES (PICTURE THIS, 3)

PICTURE THIS

Mouths ran as fast as feet in the Olympic 100-meter semifinals. Training partners Shawn Crawford (center) and Justin Gatlin (left) coasted to a one-two finish and struck up a chat with 20 meters to go. Gatlin won gold in the finals; Crawford was fourth. As for Jamaica's Michael Frater (right), who failed to escape the semis, he no doubt had a few choice words for his gabby rivals.

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BILL FRAKES (PICTURE THIS, 3)

PICTURE THIS

Mouths ran as fast as feet in the Olympic 100-meter semifinals. Training partners Shawn Crawford (center) and Justin Gatlin (left) coasted to a one-two finish and struck up a chat with 20 meters to go. Gatlin won gold in the finals; Crawford was fourth. As for Jamaica's Michael Frater (right), who failed to escape the semis, he no doubt had a few choice words for his gabby rivals.

COLOR PHOTO

BILL FRAKES (PICTURE THIS, 3)

PICTURE THIS

Mouths ran as fast as feet in the Olympic 100-meter semifinals. Training partners Shawn Crawford (center) and Justin Gatlin (left) coasted to a one-two finish and struck up a chat with 20 meters to go. Gatlin won gold in the finals; Crawford was fourth. As for Jamaica's Michael Frater (right), who failed to escape the semis, he no doubt had a few choice words for his gabby rivals.

COLOR PHOTO

TONY DEJAK/AP (WOODS)