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The Show

Hey, who was responsible for those exit polls on Election Day, the BCS?

Back to Back W's Another close race. Experts believe what really killed it for John Kerry was spending too much time trying to win over a very small voting bloc, NASCAR Stepdads.

Cardinals principal owner William DeWitt Jr. raised close to $2 million for President Bush's reelection campaign. Technically, does that make him a righty setup man?

In other Election Day news, Joe Paterno's son failed to win a seat in Congress. Here's what's sad. He lost to a Division III opponent.

Diamondbacks fire Wally Backman after four days We haven't seen a pilot axed that fast since last fall on the WB Network.

This is nice. Two hours after Backman was fired he was offered a job as an appointments secretary by former Notre Dame coach George O'Leary.

No. 1 USC survives scare at Oregon State It was so foggy in Corvallis the Trojans could have gotten Mike Williams in for a series.

Ohio State beat Michigan State. Buckeye Lydell Ross, back from suspension, had a little trouble getting his bearings. Every time the trainers started to work on his legs, he tried to put dollar bills in their pockets.

You have to feel sorry for Purdue QB Kyle Orton. I believe he's the first guy to lose a Heisman in four weeks--without a civil trial.

Patriots All-Pro CB Ty Law out four to six weeks with broken bone in left foot Wow, that must have been excruciating pain ... for Bill Belichick, who had to reveal a specific injury to one of his players.

Despite playing without both starting CBs, New England routed St. Louis 40--22, handing the Rams only their fourth home loss in three years. After the game Mike Martz was ready. He had his first 25 excuses scripted.

Insiders believe Ricky Williams will be allowed to return without a suspension next season if he enters the NFL's drug program, submits to testing and stays 50 miles away from any Phish reunions.

Terrell Owens is still under fire for stealing Ray Lewis's dance. Didn't I see this on an episode of Fame?

Suns off to best start in 19 years Phoenix guard Yuta Tabuse became the first Japanese player to make an NBA team. Pretty impressive. He took Brandy's spot on the bench.

(By the way, in the office pool predicting when Charles Barkley will have to apologize for something he said about Yuta, I have Nov. 21.)

A federal jury ordered Vince Carter to pay nearly $4.7 million to his former agent, who is serving a five-year prison sentence for fraud. I don't think this is what VC had in mind when he wanted to test his inside game.

NHL cancels All-Star Game Last week 70 NHL players met in Toronto. They talked for four hours with union reps and agreed to hold a fantasy football draft.

In a recent interview Gary Bettman admitted that the season is "likely to slip away." Was that before or after the guy conducting the interview asked, "Why do you want to work at Bed, Bath & Beyond?"

Former Raiders kicker Cole Ford awaits hearing for drive-by shooting the house of Siegfried & Roy No one was injured. Of course, Ford's blaming the whole thing on a bad snap.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy Andrew Gold.

Bill Scheft finished seconds ahead of Paula Radcliffe --at the ATM.