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The Show

More bad news for Mitch Albom. Turns out he may have seen Morrie on a Thursday.

Giacomo puts on the heavy-duty shocks in Derby Nobody expected the stretch-run explosion from this horse. Going into the race, he had a lower speed figure than Bob Neumeier.

For good luck, winning jockey Mike Smith used Laffit Pincay's saddle--and some antichafing powder that once belonged to Angel Cordero Jr.

George Steinbrenner's horse, heavy favorite Bellamy Road, finished seventh. There was so much pressure on everyone connected with Bellamy Road, Brian Cashman showed up wearing blinkers.

A Steinbrenner-owned horse? Where's it from, Ravaged Farm?

Elsewhere in racing, the Breeders' Cup moves from NBC to ESPN in 2006. However, NBC will still be allowed to use the term juvenile to refer to the plotlines of Joey.

Mavericks pocket Rockets in seven Mark Cuban was so thrilled, he offered to put Jeff Van Gundy's fine on his Discover card.

Van Gundy, $100,000 lighter, still refuses to reveal his inside source that NBA referees are targeting Yao Ming. He's willing to go to jail ... or coach the Hawks.

Are you like me? Are you thinking his source may be a late-night phone message from Pat O'Brien?

Van Gundy's gone a little conspiracy crazy. Now he's insisting he saw a second shooter in the Yao Ming documentary.

Indiana eliminated Boston by winning three games on the road. The Celtics were overwhelmed by their first Game 7 in years. Out of habit, they kept trying to get the ball to Larry Bird.

Been watching TNT? They've done so many promos for The Closer, the San Francisco Giants offered a tryout to Kyra Sedgwick.

House testifies before himself about himself Former major league pitcher Tom House admitted to using steroids, human growth hormone and amphetamines during his career, which ended in 1978. In fact, he caught Hank Aaron's 715th home run thinking it was a giant Preludin.

House admits the drugs didn't help his performance on the field. But after his baseball career ended, he spent two very productive seasons as a member of the East German women's swim team.

Of course, in the '70s the technology was not as advanced. Steroids were only available in pills, or eight-track.

Chicago has fallen in love with the streaking White Sox. I've read three articles that described Carl Everett as warm and approachable.

Barry Bonds had another operation on his knee. It's all part of Bud Selig's "Three scopes and you're out" plan.

Debris from Kellen Winslow II's motorcycle accident being auctioned at three eBay listings And next week you'll be able to bid on shreddings from his Cleveland Browns contract.

Winslow is in violation of his contract for injuring himself while riding a motorcycle. But he may be able to get out of it by claiming he was washing Jeff Kent's truck.

Maybe I'm wrong, but if Terrell Owens was smart, he could have gotten out of minicamp by faking his kidnapping.

Charlotte loses Bassmaster Classic Typical complaints from the event organizers: Not enough hotel rooms. Not enough topless clubs that sell bait.

Vincent Lecavalier selected for cover of EA Sports NHL '06 It's an action shot ... of him centering a line outside a Moscow bakery.

My time is up. You've been great. Enjoy the Shadows of Knight.

Bill Scheft's first collection of columns, The Best of The Show, is now in stores.

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ILLUSTRATION BY DREW FRIEDMAN