THE BEST JOKES WE CAN TELL IN SPORTS ILLUSTRATED ...

"Two antennae got married. The wedding was terrible, but the reception was great."

Jake Westbrook, Indians Pitcher

"An ant and an elephant marry. The first night of their honeymoon, the two make love, but the elephant has a heart attack and dies. The ant is devastated and says, 'Five minutes of passion, and now I have to spend the rest of my life digging a grave.'"

Luis Isaac, Indians Bullpen Coach

COLOR PHOTO

RONALD MARTINEZ/GETTY IMAGES (WESTBROOK);

COLOR PHOTO

DOUG PENSINGER/GETTY IMAGES (ISAAC);