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Original Issue

Q+A Chris Rock

Everybody Hates Chris, inspired by the childhood of the comedian and die-hard Knicks fan, debuts on Sept. 22 on UPN

Chris Rock

SI: You get pulled over for speeding in Miami by Officer Shaquille O'Neal. What do you do?

Rock: I put on my F--- KOBE shirt. And I don't get a ticket.

SI: What's an acceptable size for an athlete's entourage?

Rock: Three. Somebody to drive and two friends to sit with you. Anything more than that, you are just wasting money.

SI: You get to be commissioner of any sport for one day. Which league, and what do you do?

Rock: The NBA. I'd make it harder for a team to draft a kid from high school. He would count as two picks and would have to sign a 10-year contract. If he gets cut after three years, he can still make money for the next seven, so he can get his life back together. The risk is on the team. It's like when I'm casting a movie. Sometimes I think, Who can handle this? Because not everybody can handle being in a movie.

SI: Will you watch hockey this season?

Rock: Maybe a little. Hockey is like heroin. Only drug addicts do heroin. It's not like a recreational drug. It's never like, No, that's O.K., I'm not going to have heroin. You guys go right ahead. Hockey is kind of the same way. Only hockey fans watch hockey.

SI: You interviewed Michael Jordan for Vibe. Who would you like to interview for SI?

Rock: Jeff Kent, because he's a reputed ass----, which I respect [laughs].

SI: The Longest Yard was your first sports movie. Will you do another?

Rock: I hope so. When they were casting Jerry Maguire, I was begging to be in the movie. But I wanted them to change it from a wide receiver to a kicker. That's what the NFL is missing: a black, trash-talking kicker. Imagine Deion Sanders as a kicker. Pointing at the goal posts. Gold shoes on. Taunting the sidelines. "Oh, you don't want me out there. My toe is feeling good today!" --Richard Deitsch