The Beat

As part of aquest "to get things named after me," Stephen Colbert had fans of hisshow, The Colbert Report, bombard the Saginaw (Mich.) Spirit with e-mailssuggesting that the Ontario Hockey League team name its mascot after the host.It worked. The team recently unveiled Steagle Colbeagle the Eagle, a bird whoseresemblance to Colbert pretty much stops at his wire-rim glasses. After avideotaped introduction from Colbert, Steagle (left) took the ice and promptlytripped and fell. He also tumbled after the ceremonial puck drop. The Spiritwon the game, however--its first victory of the year after four losses. Duringa show last week Colbert (below), in a Spirit jersey, delivered a rousing peptalk to the team. "You're not just playing for yourselves or the people ofSaginaw anymore," he said. "You're playing for my personal glory."He wound up the speech with an impassioned plea to "win one for theSteagle."

After TrevorHoffman began using AC/DC's Hells Bells as his intro music in 1998, the Padrescloser met the band and presented them with San Diego jerseys. Last week he gotsomething in return. Before Game 2 of the NLDS at Petco Park, Hoffman, whobroke Lee Smith's career saves record last month, was presented with a Gibsonguitar autographed by Angus Young, the band's guitarist. Hoffman also caughtthe ceremonial first pitch, which was delivered by Smith.

While Hoffmancouldn't be happier with his theme song, one Minnesota Vikings fan is workingto change his team's. Before kickoffs, Welcome to the Jungle blares at theMetrodome--which is 1,800 miles from the nearest jungle. So Andy Saur, 29, agraphic designer from Duluth, started a campaign for a more fitting tune: LedZeppelin's Immigrant Song, which is about actual Vikings. "I thought it'dbe cool, and more appropriate," says Saur, who has a petition atwww.vikingskickoff.com. It only has 175 signatures, but Saur has been noticed.An Icelandic paper ran a story on him last month.

In July, TerrellOwens released an autobiography that former Eagles teammate Donovan McNabb--whowas criticized in the opus--called "a children's book." One can onlywonder what he'll think of T.O.'s latest literary foray, an actual children'sbook called Little T Learns to Share. Owens and his co-author, Courtney Parker,see the irony. "Terrell's never made a secret regarding his ownchildhood," Parker told the Fort Worth Star-Telegram. "He said maybe[he] should ... incorporate lessons [he] may not have gotten as a child."At least four more books are planned, including Little T Learns to Say I'mSorry. No word on whether we'll see Little T Learns to Stop Talking.... Lastweek the Knicks and superfan Spike Lee switched roles: The players became theaudience as Lee screened his Hurricane Katrina documentary When the LeveesBrokeat the request of coach Isiah Thomas.

They Said It
TORII HUNTER, Twins outfielder, on why Oakland DH Frank Thomas is called theBig Hurt:
"He'll hurt you. And he's big, too."

SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE

Next month an arena in Connecticut will host a showcalled Michael Bolton Tribute on Ice.

PICTURE THIS

When going for an autograph, you have mere seconds toconvince a player that you're a serious fan, so three-year-old Kaden Dailide,from Westland, Mich., had his game face, and his striped suit, on before Game 3of the ALDS in Detroit. Alas, his tactics didn't work--he was trying to getMagglio Ordoñez, his favorite player, to sign--but Kaden still went home happy.Detroit won and wrapped up the series the next day (page 38).

FIVE PHOTOS

BILL SHATTUCK (EAGLE); JAMIE MCCARTHY/WIREIMAGE.COM (COLBERT); RICHARD DREW/AP (BOLTON); JEFF KOWALSKY/EPA (PICTURE THIS); RON LEBLANC/WIREIMAGE.COM (HUNTER)