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Are You Talkin' to Me?

True tales of the similarly named
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IMAGINE THE perplexed fan who approached Arizona rookie Chris Young (6'2", 180 and black) in spring training with a baseball card of the Padres' Chris Young (6'10", 260 and white). "They looked at me, and it was like, That can't be him obviously," says the Diamondbacks' Young. The two Youngs haven't been introduced and only met twice in game action, with the hitter going 0 for 6. Still, some are confused, including the search engine on the D-Backs' website. "When you type in Chris Young to get my picture, they will show a few of mine, and then out of nowhere it shows his picture," says the outfielder. "On the Diamondbacks' website! It's funny."

THE TWO, who are not related, met when Mike was catching a spring training game for the Royals in 1995. Mark, then a Cardinal, walked to the plate and said, "Hey, Mike, nice to meet you. I'm tired of getting your mail." Mike dropped to his knees and said, "I get yours too!" Both live near San Diego during the off-season and sometimes hang out, leading to more confusion. "[Someone will] say Sween-Dog, and both of us will look," says Mike. "That's his nickname too." Mark says, "He always calls me Brother. He signed a bat to me and wrote, 'Mark, I wish you the best—I'll never understand why mom and dad separated us at birth.'?"

The Pop Culture Grid

How do sports stars fit in?

If I were a Transformer I would ...

Last meal you cooked

Favorite breakup song

Pet you're dying to own

Weirdest thing a fan ever said to you

_____ should play me in a movie

BRIAN CHING Dynamo, F

Take out al-Qaeda

T-Bone steaks

I'm Too Sexy (Right Said Fred)

A dragon

Can I have a pair of your chonies?

King Kong

TAN WHITE Fever, G

Be a fighter jet

Roast beef, green beans, mac and cheese

Say Goodbye (Chris Brown)

A monkey

I should cut my hair bald

Will Smith (above)

LEROY THOMPSON Destroyers, LB

Be Optimus Prime

A Voila Easy Meal

Irreplaceable (Beyoncé)

Piranhas

Sign my breasts

Forrest Whitaker (left)

BRIAN MCCANN Braves, C

Transform into not being so fat

Cereal

Don't know; I'm engaged

A snake

That I can't hit a changeup

Will Ferrell

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ROBERT BECK (PADRES YOUNG)

CHRIS YOUNG PADRES PITCHER

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JOHN GREEN/CAL SPORT MEDIA (DIAMONDBACKS YOUNG)

CHRIS YOUNG DIAMONDBACKS OUTFIELDER

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JOHN MEDINA/WIREIMAGE.COM (MARK SWEENEY)

MARK SWEENEY GIANTS PINCH HITTER

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CHRIS BERNACCHI/SPORT PICS (MIKE SWEENEY)

MIKE SWEENEY ROYALS FIRST BASEMAN

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KATHY WILLENS/AP (YOUNG ACTION)

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RICK GIASE/ICON SMI (SWEENEY ACTION)

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ANDREW H. WALKER/RETNA LTD. (SMITH)

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FRANK MICELOTTA/GETTY IMAGES (WHITAKER)

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ILLUSTRATION BY D. JIMENEZ (DRAGON)

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CMS PHOTO (STEAK)

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CMS PHOTO (TRANSFORMER)

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KIRBY LEE/WIREIMAGE.COM (MCCANN)

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S. AUDETTE/WIREIMAGE.COM (THOMPSON)

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TOM STRICKLAND/AP (WHITE)

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JOHN BIEVER (CHING)