SI: How are you, Dennis?
Miller: Just a young kid with a dream. What's up with you?
SI: Your new show, Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller (which airs Tuesdays on Versus), debuted on Nov. 6. Any plans to drop a Boutros Boutros-Ghali reference in a future show?
Miller: Listen, when I did football, I remember telling them: Guys, I got one monkey trick. I'm not going to be able to change it. I told the same thing to Versus. It's the coin of my realm. I do the weird references. So you might see a Boutros Boutros-Gainey, the hard-charging defensive specialist for Les Habitants.
SI: Your first guest was Curt Schilling (below). Will politics be a part of your show?
Miller: No. What's that great quote in Lawrence of Arabia: "When in Feisal's tent, do as Feisal does." I'm in the sports tent here. I get a headache from politics. I like sports because it's a fact there is resolution on a daily basis and it doesn't involve the loss of life.
SI: What's the format?
Miller: I'm essentially trying to recreate my HBO show in sports mode. Going to do some big screen. Going to do a mono up front, a little bit of a rant, do a couple of interviews.
SI: Who would you like to have as a guest?
Miller: I like Bill Belichick. I think Belichick getting caught using the IMAX cameraman David Breashears from the Everest climb is what's going to lead them to a 19--0 record this year. It's tough to get it up every week, but now that they realize their entire legacy is being questioned, they will go out and say, "We're going to destroy everybody and go 19--0, and nobody will have any reasons ever to question those Super Bowls."
SI: Are you glad you did a stint on Monday Night Football?
Miller: Of course. I was a sports nerd and in the sanctum sanctorum. We did two years, and I was picked up for a third. But when John Madden left Fox, I called Foutsie that morning and said, "Man, we are whacked. The Big Dog is loose on the tundra, and he wants to feed." Madden is the best guy who ever did that job. Al Michaels is the best play-by-play guy. When you've got a chance to put them together and you are looking at a standup comedian who is in the way—guess what? You get whacked. Hey, I'm a big boy. I'm like G. Gordon Liddy. When it's time to take me out, just tell me what corner you want me on. I don't want innocents getting hit in the crossfire.
The Pop Culture Grid
How do sports stars fit in?
My childhood hero was...
Vegetable I just won't eat
Exercise I hate the most
Last thing I bought from an infomercial
________ should run for President
Last thing you saw on YouTube
T.J. FORD Raptors, G
Michael Jordan (right)
Nothing. I never have
Bill Gates (top). Then we'd all be rich
T.J. Ford highlights
MARTIN BIRON Flyers, G
A gadget that takes out light bulbs
I don't know. I'm Canadian
A high school video for my kids
MARION BARBER Cowboys, RB
Long distance running
A religious CD
I am not political
G. Craige Lewis
KEVIN GARNETT Celtics, F
Lawrence Taylor and Magic Johnson
I enjoy all exercises
A set of knives
David Letterman (left)
Ronaldinho (above) soccer highlights
PAUL MORIGI/WIREIMAGE.COM (MILLER)
PAUL SAKUMA/AP (GATES)
SCOTT HEPPELL/AP (RONALDINHO)
JEFFREY NEIRA/CBS/AP (LETTERMAN)
JOHN BIEVER (JORDAN)
WALTER IOOSS JR. (GARNETT)
JAMES D. SMITH/ICON SMI (BARBER)
MICHAEL J. LEBRECHT II/1 DEUCE3 PHOTOGRAPHY (FORD)
NAM Y. HUH/AP (SCHILLING)