The DP Wonderlic Test

1. The scoutingcombine is:
a) The annual NFL event in Indianapolis where college prospects are evaluatedfor the upcoming draft and the Wonderlic test is administered.
b) Step One in the Oakland Raiders' off-season program to misevaluate talentand bitterly disappoint their fans.
c) A piece of farm equipment from John Deere.
d) All of the above.
e) Did Brady Quinn get picked yet?

2. A bus leavesWashington, D.C., traveling west at 50 mph. If Roger Clemens leaves in his SUVan hour later traveling 80 mph, how many miles until he is able to get ahead ofthe bus and throw his best friend, his agents and his wife underneath it?

3. Rearrange thefollowing sequence of letters to form a common performance-enhancing drug:
GHH

4."Wonderlic" refers to:
a) The inventor of an intelligence test given at the combine
b) The company that standardized the intelligence test
c) The nickname of a groupie in Any Given Sunday.

5. You are in a36-hole match play final with Tiger Woods. After 18 holes, he is up eight. In25 words or less, Why go on? (Extra credit for not using the words"happen," "anything" and "can.")

One-SentenceRant
DEREK JETER'S going against the union line and saying he supports blood testsfor HGH is a good first step, but here's what he should do next: Gather a bunchof reporters and take a blood test in front of them to show he means it.

Caption You'll Never See

IN A QUICKNESS DRILL designed specifically for newacquisition Shaquille O'Neal, a Phoenix Suns trainer places a cheeseburger atmidcourt and yells, "Eat, Big Dog!"

PHOTO

ANDREW D. BERNSTEIN/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (O'NEAL)

PHOTO

BRIAN SPURLOCK/US PRESSWIRE (JETER)