Just My Type
The Interview
Chris Rock
STAND-UP GUY
Rock's new special, Kill the Messenger, premiered last Saturday on HBO.
Dan Patrick: If Isiah Thomas came to one of your shows, would you make fun of him?
Chris Rock: He came to my New York show, and I didn't make fun of him. I'm not going to defend Isiah, but the Knicks did suck before he got there.
DP: Which New York sports franchise is gold for making jokes about?
CR: Oh, God. I'm a Knicks, Mets and Jets fan, which is really sad. I've had no joy in a long time.
DP: Are you over the Brett Favre experiment? Is this still going to end in disaster?
CR: The guy's 40 years old and wants to play one year. What organization in its right mind would take that deal? Here's the thing. I love Brett Favre. I love the stats. He's got the same number of Super Bowl rings as Trent Dilfer.
DP: Would you take Aaron Rodgers or Favre on the Jets right now?
CR: Aaron Rodgers without a doubt.
DP: On Saturday Night Live, were you Aaron Rodgers to Eddie Murphy's Brett Favre?
CR: I don't know if I was ever asked to replace Eddie Murphy. But all they did was compare me to him. So I get what Aaron Rogers is going through.
DP: Did that make you better?
CR: You know what? It absolutely made me better. It helped me in the long run. In the short run, it drove me crazy.
DP: On Letterman you made a joke about Michael Vick seeing photos of Sarah Palin hunting caribou and saying, "Why am I in jail?" What...?
CR: [Laughs.] I got a lot of calls about that. They're 50-50. A lot of people think what I said was funny, and right. I don't think this guy should have killed any dogs. But, hey, I got a Rocky and Bullwinkle T-shirt in my closet right now. I like the caribou. I got no beef with the caribou. I think the caribou's life is worth as much as any dog's.
DP: If Michael Vick could help the Jets....
CR: Oh, in a second. The Jets would be crazy not to get him. I'm not for killing dogs. I'm totally for second chances. Is he ever getting out?
DP: Well, he'll get out eventually.
CR: And he'll be 15 years younger than Brett Favre.
The Wrong Goodbye
I JUST wanted to offer some appreciation to Joe Torre for the success he had with the Yankees: four World Series wins and 12 playoff appearances in 12 years. During the ceremonies for their final game at Yankee Stadium, the Yankees didn't have time to say anything about their former manager—who, after a bitter departure last fall, is back in the playoffs with the Dodgers. I guess they couldn't squeeze him in, what with all the other video salutes the team needed to get to:
• Chuck Knoblauch's Whackiest Throws to First
• Carl Pavano: Glimpses of Greatness
• Cynthia Rodriguez's Most Potty-Mouthed T-Shirts
• Jesse Barfield: Our Dr. J
• Our Favorite Fat Pussy Toad, Hideki Irabu
• Stump Merrill: The Forgotten Years
Natural Selection
IN THE average fantasy draft Maurice Jones-Drew was taken with the 21st pick, but there's one draft in which he went No. 1 overall: Maurice Jones-Drew's. The Jags running back (right) told me he plays in a league with other NFL players such as Larry Fitzgerald, Cato June and Steven Jackson—and that he made himself his own first selection. In Jackson's case someone else took the Rams running back in the first round, so he couldn't pick himself. I wonder if after a bad week Jackson taunts the guy who drafted him: "Ha! Shouldn't have taken me."
A Week Ago When We Were Young
FROM THE What Do We Know? department: Last week I was watching the afternoon games with NBC's Football Night in America crew—we've got festival seating over there—and Cris Collinsworth threw out the question, Could USC beat the Kansas City Chiefs? And we debated it for a good while; not one of us said, "Hell, no!"
Now we've moved on to a new question: Could Oregon State beat the Denver Broncos?
THE FINE PRINT: The Mets signed G.M. Omar Minaya to a four-year extension. In a related story Willie Randolph just got a free month of Cinemax.
Go to DANPATRICK.COM for more from Chris Rock and other recent interviews, and to hear live audio of Dan's radio show, 9 a.m. to noon ET, Mon.--Fri.
ILLUSTRATION
ILLUSTRATION BY KEITH WITMER
PHOTO
MARC SEROTA/REUTERS (TORRE)
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CLIFF WELCH/ICON SMI (JONES-DREW)
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SCOTT GRIES/GETTY IMAGES FOR MTV NETWORKS (ROCK)