Just My Type
The Interview
VisantheShiancoe
OVEREXPOSED VIKING
During a live TVshot from the Minnesota locker room on Dec. 7, viewers saw more of the tightend than expected.
Dan Patrick: Doyou have a sense of humor about this?
Visanthe Shiancoe:You have to have a little sense of humor about it, but when it gets so [widelydistributed], you have to think about who is viewing the pics and videos.
DP: Are youmarried?
VS: No.
DP: You might getsome proposals after this. At what point did you realize the camera wasrolling?
VS: When I turnedaround and saw it I tried to hurry up and put on a towel so I wouldn't getcaught on camera. But obviously that didn't happen.
DP: Why don't youget a bigger towel? You've got a hand towel there.
VS: Those are thetowels they give us in the locker room. Maybe they need to change that.
DP: How did youfind out?
VS: After thegame, on the bus to the airport, one of my teammates, [tight end] Jeff Dugan,showed me a picture someone had sent him.
DP: Already?
VS: Within an hourit was all over the place.
DP: How manymessages on your cellphone?
VS: Very quickly Ihad forty-something or fifty-something messages. I didn't realize it was goingto get this big. I guess people are looking for excitement somewhere.
DP: What kind ofnickname can I use for you on TV?
VS: They call meShank.
DP: I was going tocall you the Junkman because your junk was on national TV, but I thought I'dbetter ask first, to see if it's O.K. with you.
VS: Whatever youwant to call me, Dan.
DP: You're havinga good year for Minnesota. Do you think you might get a little more Pro Bowlattention because of this?
VS: Hey, I guessall pub is good pub.
DP: You were bornin England. How long did you live there?
VS: Only twomonths.
DP: Don't they usethe expression twig and berries over there?
VS: [Laughs.]Well, hopefully, they're not using it with me.
More Nominees,Please!
WASN'T GRAHAMHARRELL the front-runner for the Heisman just a few weeks ago? It doesn't seemright that, after one loss to Oklahoma, the Texas Tech QB fell so far that hewasn't even invited to New York to be part of the award show. Harrell threw formore yards than the three who were invited—Tim Tebow, Colt McCoy and winner SamBradford—and led his team to a one-loss season, just like the others. Part ofthe blame is with the voters. (Harrell was left out because he finished adistant fourth in the tally.) But the Heisman people should go with a standardnumber of nominees, just like the Oscars, instead of winnowing from as many asfive down to three some years. The Academy didn't tell Haley Joel Osment tostay home because his Sixth Sense performance had no shot of winning. With theHeisman it really is an honor just to be nominated.
A League of TheirOwn
THIS WEEK Iinterviewed a baseball G.M. who said the following:
• DESPITE histeam's need for pitching, he didn't even bother drawing up a contract offer forCC Sabathia once he heard how many years he wanted.
• NEGOTIATIONS arebasically at a stalemate with a popular star player who turned around histeam's season: "We're not going to bid against ourselves."
• WHEN the subjectof the Yankees' spending came up, he said, "They're living in a differentworld."
THE AMAZING THING:This was not the G.M. of Kansas City or Pittsburgh. This was the Dodgers' NedColletti. (The star in question was Manny Ramirez.) Forget about competitivebalance, at least in the off-season. Compared with New York, just about everyplace else is small market.
Talking HeadGames
PHILLIES PITCHERCole Hamels made headlines this week when he said of the Mets, "For thepast two years they've been choke artists." I like that he said it—let'sget another rivalry going besides Yankees--Red Sox. But whenever athletes makeattention-getting remarks, I can't help but get the impression they'reauditioning for a future job as a TV commentator. If you find yourselfthinking, That's the sort of thing John Kruk would say on Baseball Tonight,that may not be a coincidence.
THE FINE PRINT:The Yankees spent a quarter-billion dollars on two pitchers. Now they'relooking to pick up a centerfielder and an automaker.
Go toDANPATRICK.COM for more from Visanthe Shiancoe and other recent interviews, andhear live audio of Dan's radio show, 9 a.m. to noon ET, Mon.-Fri.
ILLUSTRATION
ILLUSTRATION BY KEITH WITMER
PHOTO
DARREN CARROLL (HARRELL)
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CHUCK SOLOMON (HAMELS)
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TOM OLMSCHEID/AP (SHIANCOE)