It's true, the cable networks and newspapers are filled with scary headlines written in jargon that has come to symbolize the depressing reality of our economic state. But it doesn't have to be so. Take those same terms, process them through the SI GOLF PLUS Vocabulary Converter, and suddenly they're not so frightening anymore.
Putting a seven-wood in the bag
Three-hundred-yard drives followed by bladed wedges
When your opponent forces you to hole out a 12-inch gimme. Also known as "credit crunch" or "credit squeeze"
All de things de matter with de swing
Adam Scott's (right) swing compared with Tiger Woods's circa 2001
What you're no longer spending in the pro shop
The sense of completeness a player feels after pushing his drive onto the next fairway and screaming, "Fore!"
Betting the house that Tiger will win another major
A private club adding National to the end of its name in hopes of attracting status-seeking new members
Upon departing the golf shop, the $299 value of the driver you just bought for $399
"I'll buy the next round."
Trying to calm down after a four-putt double bogey
Gripping the putter too tightly while standing over a three-footer
Heading into the club championship without your A game
Your old golf shoes
Five down with four to play and not enough cash to pay off the $2 Nassau
ERICK W. RASCO (RULER)
FRED VUICH (WOODS)
JOHN BIEVER (SCOTT)
ERICK W. RASCO (BEER)
DAVID N. BERKWITZ (SHOES)