The Strike Zone

Tracking the week's news both inside and outside the confines of cool

OUTSIDE

A Super Bowl that even art nerds can love: Museums in Milwaukee and Pittsburgh wagered paintings by Renoir and Caillebotte on the game.

How young is too young?

STOP

The seriousness with which Bobby Valentine is taking his new gig as director of public safety in Stamford, Conn.: He was spotted directing traffic in a blizzard last week.

Not quite a Super Bowl win, but close: Green Bay was just awarded a Lingerie Football League team—and ex-Packers DT Gilbert Brown is the owner!

Matt Hasselbeck and Antonio Cromartie's Twitter feud, capped by the latter promising, "I will smash ur face in."

Somebody take Tiger's Twitter away; last week he typed out the phrase "fo' shizzle."

The former Playboy model who recently bought a Polish soccer team and then promised to rule with "an iron fist." Sounds kinky.

Poor, poor Phil Kessel, the Leafs' winger who was picked dead last in the NHL's playground-style All-Star draft last Friday.

The Twitter feed and two Facebook pages "written" by Steelers DE Brett Keisel's gnarly lumberjack beard.

For 48 cents you could have gone to a Cavs-Nets game in Newark last week—if you're into that sort of thing.

Kevin Love's made-up fragrance, Numb#rs: It's an All-Star campaign! It's a sly dig at Lamar Odom! It's awesome!

The nation's insistence on coming up with a nickname for Blake Griffin. Please stop. Blake Griffin is just fine.

Tracy Morgan's ability to make even Charles Barkley blush, as he did with a raunchy Sarah Palin ref during a Heat-Knicks game.

Madison-based 1990s band Garbage's retooled version of the Lambeau anthem Go Pack Go!—all three words of it.

What we learned from The Hollywood Reporter's seating chart of celebrity Lakers ticket holders: Richard Simmons has better seats than Frank Robinson?!

According to Formula One Racing magazine, the F/1 car of the future will fly, talk and feature a 3-D camera on top. (O.K., just the last part, but how cool is that; and how far off can the rest be?)

LOW

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION

PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY SI IMAGING: LISA F. YOUNG/FOTOLIA.COM (CROSSING GUARD), JASON KEMPIN/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (VALENTINE)

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KEVIN MAZUR/WIREIMAGE/GETTY IMAGES (MORGAN)

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COURTESY OF MIKE JONES/PATCH.COM (BABY)

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JOHN IACONO (BROWN)

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ERICK W. RASCO (MONEY)

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JOHN BIEVER (KEISEL)

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ANNMARIE AVILA (3-D GLASSES)

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COURTESY OF THE MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES (FRAGRANCES)

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IMAGO/ACTIONPLUS (MODEL)

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ROBERT BECK (WOODS)

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GREG NELSON (GRIFFIN)

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JOE ROBBINS/GETTY IMAGES (CROMARTIE)

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ABELIMAGES/GETTY IMAGES (KESSEL)

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DAVID TEUMA/GETTY IMAGES (GARBAGE)

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RAY TAMARRA/GETTY IMAGES (SIMMONS)

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