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Tweet Nothings

My day begins with the sun reflecting off the remaining snow in the front yard, with the girls moving way too slow to catch the school bus and with tennis star Serena Williams sending along a message: "Good morning." That Serena. So thoughtful. So few take the time. Most are like pain-in-the-neck golf star Ian Poulter, who already has a request. He wonders where he might buy artwork by the British street artist Banksy. I want to help, but I do not know Banksy. I feel guilty for this.

"Goodmorning," the Bengals' Chad Ochocinco says. "Headed to LA Fitness to get an early workout in, y'all good folk be productive today."

Yes, today is a day with limitless possibility. Lots of my friends think so. Two-time NBA All-Star guard Baron Davis paraphrases John Wooden: "The people who turn out best are those people who make the best out of the way things turn out." Hear, hear! Kentucky basketball coach John Calipari is thrilled with his players' energy at practice. Two-time major champion and Mr. Grip It and Rip It himself John Daly adds his own bit of inspiration:

"Just drinking my diet coke & enjoying my smoke trying to decide on my pants pattern today," he says. He adds an LOL on the end in case anyone might have taken this bit of news a little too somberly. In the past I might have stopped to consider what is laugh-out-loud funny about this statement (perhaps he was drinking a regular Coke), but since becoming good friends with athletes, I have grown used to their LOLs. They are a satirical lot, the athletes of Twitter.

For instance, when Kirk Morrison, steadfast middle linebacker for the Jaguars, writes "T.G.I.F.," he quickly makes clear that he means "Thank God I'm Fresh." He does not put an LOL on the end. It is implied.

I've been hearing a lot from Morrison recently. Only a few days before, he, like many of his NFL buddies, had been regaling me with their thoughts about Bears quarterback Jay Cutler coming out of the NFC Championship Game with a hurt knee. That was great. Cutler, apparently, had sprained his MCL in the game, but on TV he did not look to be in unbearable pain: No howling, no crutches, no amputating his own arm and surviving for 127 hours or anything. Heard, too, from retired NFL cornerback Deion Sanders, who summed up the collective outrage: "All the medicine in pro lockerrooms this dude comes out! I apologize bear fans!" Preach, Deion! And to think as a player, he avoided contact.

Now I live in their world. (More than 1,500 sports people have Twitter accounts.) I follow. I learn. Did you know that Portuguese soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has dogs that are "crazy" but also a "lot of fun"? He enjoys spending time with them. Two-time baseball All-Star Bobby Abreu is getting ready for spring training. "Preparàndome para el spring training," he writes. Yes, he talks to me in Spanish. The seven-year-old son of former Super Bowl MVP quarterback Kurt Warner almost scored a triple double in his game. "Not sure I ever played that well!" Kurt writes. Exclamation points are big on Twitter.

"Good afternoon," tennis star Venus Williams writes. "Hi, just giving you a shout out." That Venus, just like her little sister. So thoughtful.

News pours in. New Orleans Saints running back and vacated Heisman Trophy winner Reggie Bush woke up to two-to-three inches of water in his bathroom, and apparently it leaked out into his living room. This makes me sad. But winner of 12 Olympic swimming medals Dara Torres saw the romantic comedy No Strings Attached and thought it was cute and entertaining. This makes me happy. Poker legend Doyle Brunson—who won back-to-back World Series of Poker titles—says a cheeseburger at the International House of Pancakes is surprisingly delicious. I must try that.

PGA Tour golf sensation Bubba Watson hits the gym. Indiana Pacers guard T.J. Ford tweets, "Much needed massage," which suggests to me that he is getting a massage ... and it is much needed. Onetime NFL sack leader and current Bills linebacker Shawne Merriman threatens that the next person he sees on the street he will arm wrestle. Is he serious? On the one hand, he does not LOL at the end. On the other, Shawne is not the sort to LOL very often.

Chargers linebacker Shaun Phillips is disappointed that the Lakers lost. Kurt Warner fills us in on another son's youth-basketball exploits (24 rebounds!). Two-time NBA MVP Steve Nash loves the name of BYU scoring machine Jimmer Fredette—Nash thinks it sounds like something out of the movie Hoosiers. NBA phenom Blake Griffin breaks out some Latin: "Amat victoria curam." He translates it like so: "Victory loves preparation."

And Titans Pro Bowl running back Chris Johnson writes: "In Hawaii bout to get out the room and do something." That is vague. Do something? Do what? The possibilities are endless. I wait for hour after hour, but Chris never does tell me what he did. He leaves it to the imagination. I promptly stop following him.

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Some 1,500 sports people have Twitter accounts. I follow. I learn. Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has dogs that are "crazy" but also a "lot of fun"!