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The Strike Zone

Tracking the week's news both inside and outside the confines of cool
Author:

OUTSIDE

Van Buren Boys! A fourth-tier English soccer goalie was punched in the face and cursed at by a group of pitch-storming teenagers, including a 13-year-old boy and a ponytailed girl.

Step One in the Jimmer World Domination Plan: check. The former BYU star is getting his own reality show.

This utterly awesome Super Mario Brothers--themed routine won only silver at the World Figure Skating Championships?!

Calvin Borel and 11 other jockeys posed for a 2012 beefcake calendar.

Heat officials have been draping their seats with white to make their (mostly empty well into the first quarter) arena look occupied.

The rollicking phoniness of this glam shot of a young Rob Lowe (in soccer cleats, on grass, holding a—basketball?), which appears in his new memoir.

Lakers coach Phil Jackson played the wolf pack speech from The Hangover before a playoff loss to the Mavs. So, yeah; maybe just Braveheart again next time... .

Deadspin's crafty and telling "Essay About Bin Laden's Death, Constructed Entirely Out of Athletes' Tweets."

Royal wedding + Kentucky Derby = Big floppy hat fatigue.

Multitasker of the Year: Obama held his first capture-Bin Laden meeting one day before sharing his NCAA picks (which were pretty solid, mind you).

Allegedly psychic sports fan animals, the latest being Magdalena, the two-headed, five-legged Slovakian tortoise who's predicting the World Ice Hockey Championships.

This anti--Jim Tressel billboard, which went up 30 miles outside of Ann Arbor.

Red Sox fans' touching a cappella serenade of Kevin Youkilis, to Biz Markie's Just a Friend, after a 2½-hour rain delay.

The dogged determination of the Cincinnati marathon runner who lost his shorts but just kept on running—until police tasered him to a halt.

Ron Artest waited a whopping eight days after receiving the NBA's citizenship award before he decapitated a Mavs player.

LeBron stopped doing his pregame chalk toss—which leaves the door open for someone younger to come in and act like he, too, invented it.

The artist who inked Mike Tyson's face tat is suing the producers of The Hangover Part II for using his design. Or, in saner terms, someone is actually taking credit for that thing on Tyson's face.

How hip is the UFL? The NFL alternative conducted its entire 10-round draft via Twitter.

LOW

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PA WIRE/PA (GOALIE)

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MATT SAYLES/AP (TYSON)

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FRANK MASI/© WARNER BROS./EVERETT COLLECTION (THE HANGOVER)

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MELANIE MAXWELL/ANNARBOR.COM/AP (BILLBOARD)

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ROBERT BECK (FREDETTE, YOUKILIS)

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AP (BIN LADEN)

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HEINZ KLUETMEIER (JAMES)

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COURTESY OF ROB LOWE (LOWE)

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TWITTER.COM (BIRD)

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PETE SOUZA/THE WHITE HOUSE (OBAMA)

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OLEG NIKISHIN/EPSILON/GETTY IMAGES (SKATERS)

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MIKE EHRMANN/GETTY IMAGES (SEATS)

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ALLVOICES.COM (TORTOISE)

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JOHN W. MCDONOUGH (ARTEST)

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© BARBARA D. LIVINGSTON/COURTESY OF BLACK LINER PRODUCTIONS BOREL)

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MATTHEW STOCKMAN/GETTY IMAGES (DERBY HAT)

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HAMILTON COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE (MARATHONER)