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THE STRIKE ZONE

Tracking the week's news both inside and outside the confines of cool
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INSIDE

HIGH

OUTSIDE

LOW

NBA lockout, Day 42: Delonte West, whose weapons charges keep him from playing abroad, applied for a job at Home Depot.

The Dude abides (but may not approve): Jeff Bridges lost out to Miley Cyrus in a vote to induct a celeb into the bowling HOF.

Tony Romo says his bachelor party earlier this year was alcohol-free—just 15 guys playing hide-and-seek. Seriously.

A Beijing "goodwill" hoops game between Georgetown and a Chinese military team ended in a chair-hurling brawl between players and fans.

The Bears protested a new 35-yard-line kickoff rule, which is aimed at preventing injuries, by kicking from the 30—and lost a player to a torn meniscus on the play.

#losing: Charlie Sheen ruptured the ulnar nerve in his elbow while taking BP at Chase Field.

A Brett Favre impersonator was signing autographs around Packers camp last week.

(Long sigh.) Kim Kardashian's wedding last weekend to the Nets' Kris Humphries will be turned into a two-part, four-hour special on E!

Piss off! The Cubs are considering terminating their iconic Wrigley Field trough toilets.

Mark Sanchez has played two NFL seasons—and has now appeared shirtless in just as many issues of GQ.

Shaq says that Rajon Rondo's late-season slump was the result of Barack Obama's confidence-crushing comment about the guard's jumper.

EPL soccer as a lab experiment for high-concept hairstylists. Exhibit A: Joey Barton's Morrissey-meets-Hitler head topper.

ILLUSTRATION

ILLUSTRATION BY JASON LEE

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IMAGE SOURCE/GETTY IMAGES (BAGEL)

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BRIAN KERSEY/UPI/LANDOV (BEARS)

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ADAM GAULT/OJO IMAGES/GETTY IMAGES (BATHROOM)

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LEANDER BAERENZ/GETTY IMAGES (HIDE-AND-SEEK)

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BRIAN TO/FILMMAGIC/GETTY IMAGES (SHEEN)

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ANTONIO CALANNI/AP (KARDASHIAN AND HUMPHRIES)

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PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY SI IMAGING: ROCKY WIDNER/NBAE/GETTY IMAGES (WEST)

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BRACE HEMMELGARN/US PRESSWIRE (FAVRE)

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DAVID BUTLER II/US PRESSWIRE (RONDO)

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MARIO ANZUONI/REUTERS (CYRUS)

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CHINA DAILY/REUTERS (BRAWL)

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RICHARD LEE/SPORTIMAGE/CAL SPORT MEDIA (BARTON)