| SIGNED |
By the Patriots to a three-year free-agent contract, Olympic silver medalist Jeff Demps. The former Florida running back, who ran for more than 500 yards in each of his four seasons, was part of the U.S. 4 √ó 100-meter relay team in London. Demps (above) is the latest in a line of Olympic sprinters who have tried their hand at pro football, ranging from 1968 100-meter gold medalist Jim Hines, who had such bad hands in his brief career as a receiver that he was nicknamed Oops, to 1964 100-meter champ Bob Hayes, who had a Hall of Fame career as a wideout, primarily with the Cowboys.
| SUSPENDED |
For 50 games by Major League Baseball after testing positive for elevated levels of testosterone, Giants outfielder Melky Cabrera—who then reportedly engaged in cyberchicanery in an attempt to provide an alibi. Cabrera, who is having the best season of his seven-year career, was the All-Star Game MVP and is currently second in the National League in batting average. According to a report in the New York Daily News, Cabrera claimed he inadvertently took a banned substance. An associate then purchased a website and altered it to appear as if it sold the substance—which never actually existed. The ruse was quickly uncovered by MLB and federal investigators. As of Monday, there was no word if Cabrera's ploy would lead to further punishment.
| ARRESTED |
Outside the courthouse after the conclusion of the Moscow trial of feminist punk-rock band Pussy Riot, chess grandmaster Garry Kasparov. Three members of the band were sentenced to two years in prison for hooliganism after they staged an anti-Kremlin music video in a church. Kasparov, 49, was one of dozens taken into custody after the verdict was read. Kasparov—an active member of the opposition pro-democracy party in Russia—said he was beaten and dragged into a police van, then held for five hours. He said he has been accused of biting one of the officers, which he denies. Police have not commented.
| ENTERED |
A drug rehab program a week after being dismissed from the LSU football team, junior cornerback Tyrann Mathieu, 20. A Heisman finalist and winner of the Bednarik Award as the national defensive player of the year as a sophomore in 2011, Mathieu was kicked off the team after he reportedly failed a third drug test. He would have to sit out a year if he transfers to another FBS school but would be immediately eligible in the FCS or a lower division. LSU said approximately 20 schools had inquired about speaking with Mathieu (below), nicknamed Honey Badger. Mathieu's father has said that his son will not return to football until he finishes rehab. LSU coach Les Miles has not ruled out a return to the Tigers for Mathieu in 2013.
| BROKEN |
By Phoenix Mercury forward Nakia Sanford, the nose of Phoenix mayor Greg Stanton. In a video he sent to team officials campaigning for the chance to practice with the team, the 42-year-old Stanton, who played in high school, said, "I'm taking this really seriously. I know if I'm going to be guarding Nakia Sanford ... I've got to buff up." Stanton was invited to practice last week; when he went up for a rebound he came down on Sanford's elbow. "Injuries are just part of the game; they're battle wounds," Stanton (right) said in a statement. Stanton attended the Mercury--San Antonio Stars game on Sunday as a spectator, and members of the Arizona Rattlers Arena Football League team presented him with a helmet.
| TRADEMARKED |
By Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte, the word jeah. Lochte's application with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office covers placing the word on such goods as swim goggles, skirts and trading cards. In a video posted on YouTube, Lochte gave a broad range of definitions for the word, including "Cool" and "Guess who just bought a bouncy castle?"
| MISSED |
By Rangers pitcher Ryan Dempster, his start last Saturday at Toronto, reportedly because he could not find his passport. Ironically, Dempster was born in Canada, but he hasn't pitched in the country since facing the Montreal Expos in 2003, when he was with the Reds. Roy Oswalt made a spot start for Texas, giving up one run in 4 2/3 innings as the Rangers won 2--1.
| INSTITUTED |
By the NFL, a policy in which fans who are ejected from a stadium will be required to take a four-hour online course before they are allowed to return to the facility. According to ESPN.com, the course focuses on drinking, anger management and crude behavior. If an ejected fan—there were around 7,000 last year—does not complete the course and is found on stadium property, he or she could be arrested.
| RUN OVER |
By Danica Patrick as she led the field at last Saturday's Nationwide Series race in Montreal, a shoe that was apparently thrown onto the track by a spectator. Patrick's car suffered damage to the rear axle as a result, and she ended up finishing six laps down in 27th place. Strange, but hardly the oddest thing that's been hit by a NASCAR driver.
Deer: Neil Bonnett, 1984 practice at Pocono
Turtle: Dale Jarrett, 1999 practice at Daytona. (He's also hit a seagull and a woodchuck)
Coyote: Brad Coleman, 2009 testing in Arizona
Groundhog: Stephen Leicht, 2012 practice at Pocono
Perfect games—of the 23 in major league history—witnessed this season by Bode Dockal.
Age, in months, of Bode, who saw Philip Humber's perfecto against the Mariners in April with both his parents, and Felix Hernandez's last Wednesday against the Rays, with his father.
Medals won by current or past USC athletes in London.
Position in the medals standings that the Trojans would have occupied had they been a sovereign nation.
Amount Hall of Famer Eddie Murray agreed to pay to settle SEC claims that he illegally profited from an insider trading scheme that also included former Orioles teammate Doug DeCinces.
Active players on the Astros making more than $750,000 this year: outfielder Ben Francisco, whose salary is $1.54 million.
MLB PLAYERS POLL
Who is the phoniest player in baseball?
ALEX RODRIGUEZ, YANKEES 3B 26%
NICK SWISHER, YANKEES RF 14%
NYJER MORGAN, BREWERS CF 11%
BRIAN WILSON, GIANTS P 9%
BRANDON PHILLIPS, REDS 2B 5%
Rodriguez was also voted the most overrated position player in the game (SI, July 9), while Swisher, Morgan, Wilson and Phillips were among the top six vote-getters for the distinction of baseball's most eccentric player (SI, Aug. 6).... The bulk of the votes for A-Rod (64%) came from players in the American League, and most of those (44%) came from his rivals in the AL East.
BASED ON THE RESPONSES OF 232 MLB PLAYERS TO SI'S SURVEY
GARY BOGDON (DEMPS FOOTBALL)
MARVIN GENTRY/US PRESSWIRE (MATHIEU)
TOM TURRILL/CAL SPORT MEDIA (PATRICK)
CATHERINE LEDNER/GETTY IMAGES (DEER)
MIKE KEMP/RUBBERBALL/GETTY IMAGES (TURTLE)
DAVID C STEPHENS/FLICKR RF/GETTY IMAGES (COYOTE)
TRINA DROPP/FLICKR RF/GETTY IMAGES (GROUNDHOG)
COURTESY OF THE PHOENIX MERCURY (STANTON)
CARY EDMONDSON/US PRESSWIRE (RODRIGUEZ)