A few sports ownership deals we'd like to see
Aging rockers KISS last week announced they will be buying an Arena Football League team that will be based in Anaheim. In that spirit, allow us to suggest that these bands get in on the act and make the following purchases.
The owners would blend in nicely with their fan base.
MAROON 5Cleveland Cavaliers
To paraphrase Pulp Fiction's Mia Wallace, the Cavs wear maroon and there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of them.
CHEAP TRICKPhiladelphia Flyers
The Broad Street Bullies have ranked first or second in penalty minutes in four of the last five seasons.
ONE DIRECTIONCleveland Browns
The team has been traveling in one direction—down—for years.
THE WHONashville Predators
Seriously, who are they?
Neither Second City institution has done anything meaningful in decades.
PRINCENew England Revolution
Kind of goes without saying.
POP CULTURE GRID...
What athletes are thinking
Go-to karaoke song
Dish that'd make me a winner on Top Chef
Chore I refuse to do
First thing I do in the morning
Our locker room smelled like ...
I miss my ...
Never done karaoke
Braised short ribs
Pee, then eat breakfast
Chug a gallon of coffee
Ability to go from 0 to 80 in .5 of a second
Cleaning the toilet
Get my son his milk
+ The three U.S. soccer pioneers agreed that Foudy, who answered by breaking into song, had the best pipes. "I'll do the duet on my own," she said of the Grease hit. As for Hamm's love of "Rocky Top," she says, "I don't know why. I'm not from Tennessee."
+ Her "secret": "It's all in the milk. One percent. I'm very discerning."
+ "One percent for him."
They Said It
"If you have ice with Coke, you can have indigestion."
Paolo Di CanioManager of Premier League team Sunderland, explaining why he banned his players from drinking soda on the rocks—not to mention mayonnaise, ketchup, cellphones and singing in the shower. (He also announced his daughter was banned from eating cheeseburgers.)
EXTRA MUSTARD ON SI.COM
To get up close with Matt Fitzpatrick, this week's breakout performer presented by Schick, go to SI.com/breakout
PAUL SAKUMA/AP (RAIDERS FAN)
ED SYKES/ACTION IMAGES/ZUMAPRESS.COM (DI CANIO)
AL GRAHAM/RETNA (GWAR)
TOM GRILL/GETTY IMAGES (MILK)
UNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP (GREASE)
GENERAL MILLS (LUCKY CHARMS)
TAMARA STAPLES/GETTY IMAGES (DUSTER)
KRIS CONNOR/GETTY IMAGES (HAMM)
JASON KEMPIN/GETTY IMAGES (FOUDY)
STEVE GRANITZ/WIREIMAGE (CHASTAIN)
GETTY IMAGES (ROSES)