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Musical Shares

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A few sports ownership deals we'd like to see

Aging rockers KISS last week announced they will be buying an Arena Football League team that will be based in Anaheim. In that spirit, allow us to suggest that these bands get in on the act and make the following purchases.

GWAROakland Raiders

The owners would blend in nicely with their fan base.

MAROON 5Cleveland Cavaliers

To paraphrase Pulp Fiction's Mia Wallace, the Cavs wear maroon and there are 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 of them.

CHEAP TRICKPhiladelphia Flyers

The Broad Street Bullies have ranked first or second in penalty minutes in four of the last five seasons.

ONE DIRECTIONCleveland Browns

The team has been traveling in one direction—down—for years.

THE WHONashville Predators

Seriously, who are they?

CHICAGOChicago Cubs

Neither Second City institution has done anything meaningful in decades.

PRINCENew England Revolution

Kind of goes without saying.

POP CULTURE GRID...

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What athletes are thinking

Go-to karaoke song

Dish that'd make me a winner on Top Chef

Chore I refuse to do

First thing I do in the morning

Our locker room smelled like ...

I miss my ...

Brandi ChastainDefender

Never done karaoke

Braised short ribs

Dusting

Pee, then eat breakfast

Roses

Parents

Julie FoudyMidfielder

"Summer Nights"

Lucky Charms

Ironing

Chug a gallon of coffee

Grass

Ability to go from 0 to 80 in .5 of a second

Mia HammForward

"Rocky Top"

Roasted chicken

Cleaning the toilet

Get my son his milk

Wet grass

20/20 vision

+ The three U.S. soccer pioneers agreed that Foudy, who answered by breaking into song, had the best pipes. "I'll do the duet on my own," she said of the Grease hit. As for Hamm's love of "Rocky Top," she says, "I don't know why. I'm not from Tennessee."

+ Her "secret": "It's all in the milk. One percent. I'm very discerning."

+ "One percent for him."

They Said It

"If you have ice with Coke, you can have indigestion."

Paolo Di CanioManager of Premier League team Sunderland, explaining why he banned his players from drinking soda on the rocks—not to mention mayonnaise, ketchup, cellphones and singing in the shower. (He also announced his daughter was banned from eating cheeseburgers.)

EXTRA MUSTARD ON SI.COM

To get up close with Matt Fitzpatrick, this week's breakout performer presented by Schick, go to SI.com/breakout

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PAUL SAKUMA/AP (RAIDERS FAN)

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ED SYKES/ACTION IMAGES/ZUMAPRESS.COM (DI CANIO)

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AL GRAHAM/RETNA (GWAR)

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TOM GRILL/GETTY IMAGES (MILK)

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UNIVERSAL MUSIC GROUP (GREASE)

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GENERAL MILLS (LUCKY CHARMS)

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TAMARA STAPLES/GETTY IMAGES (DUSTER)

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KRIS CONNOR/GETTY IMAGES (HAMM)

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JASON KEMPIN/GETTY IMAGES (FOUDY)

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STEVE GRANITZ/WIREIMAGE (CHASTAIN)

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GETTY IMAGES (ROSES)