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Just My Type

DAN PATRICK

JOHN-BOY COMES CLEAN

The sports-talk-show host, who had a bitter ratings war with Burgundy in the 1990s, let the San Diego broadcaster interview him before the release of Anchorman 2. The exchange proved illuminating for both.

RON BURGUNDY:I understand you began your life as a child of hippie parents in the mountains of Southern Ohio. What was that like?

DAN PATRICK: I don't know if they were hippie parents, but it was in southern Ohio.

RB:They liked to smoke the funny cigarettes?

DP: No, they did not. Not that I was aware of.

RB:Your parents were Carol and Stewart?

DP: Close. Jack and Patty.

RB:What was that like in the house of Jack and Patty?

DP: It was kind of like The Waltons. Emotional. Leaning on your brothers and sisters.

RB:You were the John-Boy?

DP: Yes.

RB:Played by?

DP: Uhh.

RB:The guy with the mole on his face. I understand you excelled in lonely sports like lawn darts and cup stacking.

DP: Yes.

RB:What were you like in school?

DP: I was voted class clown.

RB:You were a graduate of Eastern Kentucky University?

DP: No, I transferred to Dayton.

RB:What happened there?

DP: I went to play basketball. I didn't get along with the coach.

RB:Shooting guard?

DP: Yes.

RB:No D?

DP: No.

RB:When you were at ESPN you were found passed out in an alley in Memphis, and they brought you in to host SportsCenter. Is that correct?

DP: That's not true.

RB:Is it true Chris Berman once got mad at you because you stole a story and in a rage he sat on you for an hour?

DP: That's not true. He never did that.

RB:You began as an FM deejay in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.

DP: In Ohio.

RB:What happened there?

DP: I realized vinyl wasn't going to last.

RB:So you jumped to sports because you used to play ball.

DP: Yes, I decided to parlay that into a broadcasting career.

RB:If my records are correct, you were the first person ever to host a sports radio show in a field traditionally dominated by women. You're a pioneer. How does it feel?

DP: No, I'm not. No.

RB:You're the Neil Armstrong of sports broadcasting.

DP: Wasn't there a Chicago Bears coach named Neil Armstrong?

RB:No, no, no. The cyclist Neil Armstrong.

DP: No.

RB:Did you actually cover Georgia Tech women's basketball?

DP: No.

RB:Because I did. Unofficially.

DP: I'm not sure we're learning anything here.

RB:Pretty good interview. Thank you.

DP: Well done.

Guest Shots

SAY WHAT?

Former Duke and NBA star Grant Hill thinks the one-and-done trend puts too much pressure on young basketball players. "I can't imagine being a senior in high school and knowing the summer after next I'll be a lottery pick," Hill told me. "I would have been out of control. I didn't think about the NBA until after my junior year."... I asked USC athletic director Pat Haden if he considered Jon Gruden before hiring Steve Sarkisian. "I talked with Jon awhile back," Haden said. "If he's going to coach, he wants to coach in the pros."... Giants defensive end Justin Tuck offered a different perspective on the rules that penalize defenders for hitting a QB in the helmet area or below the knees. "It lets me know," Tuck said, "how much regard the rulemakers have for us D-linemen as athletes, because we have a 330-pounder pushing or holding us and we still have to hit a quarterback in a certain spot."

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TREVOR HAGAN/REUTERS (BURGUNDY)

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TODD ROSENBERG FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (PATRICK)

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JOHN W. MCDONOUGH/SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (HILL)

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STEPHEN DUNN/GETTY IMAGES (HADEN)

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GUILLERMO HERNANDEZ MARTINEZ FOR SPORTS ILLUSTRATED (TUCK)